Hill: What does S.H.I.E.L.D. stand for Agent Ward?
Ward: Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.
Hill: And what does that mean to you?
Ward: That someone really wanted our initials to spell SHIELD.

Skye: Sweet ride.
Coulson: I earned a little good will from Direct Fury when I got hit right before the battle of New York.
Skye: You took a bullet?
Coulson: "ish".

The name they gave me at the orphanage was Mary Sue Poots

Skye

I'm doing what we always do. We're going to fix this. Together.

Fitz

Don't do anything rash while I'm gone, like jump out of an airplane.

Fitz

If I come out, will you shoot me? 'Cause then I won't come out.

Coulson

Simmons is probably smarter, technically. But that’s because she like homework more than life itself.

Fitz

We still need to iron out the kinks, but Ward you can speak 6 languages, Simmons you have 2 PHD's in fields I cannot pronounce, and Fitz you ARE a rocket scientist, so work it out.

Coulson

Ward: I know Director Fury felt he owes you after you scarified yourself.
Coulson: And my card collection.

Coulson: Go ahead, say it.
May: I don't do petty.
Coulson: But you called it. I trusted my gut even though you said she was a risk.
May: When someone breaks into my house, I usually don't invite them to stay. But that's me.
Coulson: That's me too. Then that alien staff when through my heart.
May: Sure it didn't go through the brain?
Coulson: You really don't do comforting either do you?

Ward: And the attackers?
Coulson: Invisible.
Skye: Wait Invisible? So cool, but terrible.

Agent Ward and I been having sex.

May

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Quotes

Beaten to within an inch of her life. Nevertheless, she persisted.

Fitz [on Daisy]

Madame Hydra: I'm just trying to give people what they want. Why is that wrong?
Daisy: Because sometimes what people want isn't right for them.