Favorite Archer Quotes
Krieger: Coffee just like I like my women: black, bitter and preferably fair trade.
Archer: Oh my God! You killed a hooker!
Cyril: Call girl! She was a-
Archer: No Cyril, when they're dead they're just hookers!
Cyril: Why are you so scared of crocodiles?
Archer: Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down I'm afraid of any apex predator that lived through the K-T extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years, because it's the perfect killing machine. A half ton of cold-blooded fury, the bite force of 20,000 Newtons, and stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hoofs.
Archer: Can you put it in a person's brain?
Krieger: It'd suffocate.
Archer: Not the rabbit, you idiot - the chip.
Krieger: Oh yes, absolutely.
Archer: Without killing the person?
Krieger: Oh... maybe?
Hmm. Cock flavored spit? Well you never know what's gonna be on the board! Let me see cock-flavored spit!
Pam: What a hunk
Cheryl: Total sploosh.
Lana: Yeah, gotta give him a sploosh.
Gillette: And whatever my equivalent of sploosh. Which I guess is just sploosh. Only with semen.
Ma, they done killed old Rando.
First of all, it's Dr. I'll Solve Your Ant Problem.Krieger
Archer: Take the suits to my tailor and the shoes to my shoemaker.
Cyril: You have a shoemaker?
Archer: Do you not?
Who taught you to punch, your husband?Pam
Ouch, my earballs.Cheryl
Jesus, Mary and Joseph Stalin! For the last time assholes, my name is....Shazam! How do you not remember that show?