Mother: They say the devil's in the details.
Archer: And silk pajamas.

• Permalink: And silk pajamas.
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Poovey: You better pray to God it wasn't you who hit me. Because whoever it was...
Archer: [points to the gigantic Verl]
Poovey:...hits like a little bitch of a girl, who was born with some kind of bitch of a birth defect, so that instead of a fist, she just has this tiny bitch of a nubbin.

• Permalink: Poovey: You better pray to God it wasn't you who hit me.
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Coroner: Your jerk-off partner is already back there.
Poovey: Uh, what?
Archer: Ugh. Glasses, dark hair, gray at the temples, mouth that looks like somebody used a tomato capper to scoop out a pig's asshole and glued it onto his nose?
Poovey: Aww shit.

• Permalink: Mouth that looks like somebody used a tomato capper to scoop out a pig's asshole
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Archer: I really wish we hadn't have done that.
Poovey: I can never unsee him naked.
Archer: I mean, the size of that thing.
Poovey: Haul that big bastard out and you can use it as an umbrella stand.

• Permalink: Poovey: Haul that big bastard out and you can use it as an umbrella stand.
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Are you kidding? Dreamland has a whole goddamn Nazi robot farm in the basement. In THIS economy!

Dutch Dylan/Barry

• Permalink: Dreamland has a whole goddamn Nazi robot farm in the basement. In THIS economy!
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Cyril/Figgis: As the Lord our God Himself is my witness, upon the conclusion of my current business, I shall return to this place, and visit upon you an apocalypse of such terror and destruction that you will rue, RUE, the very fact of your miserable birth!!
Coroner: (munches on hot dog) I'll be here!

• Permalink: You will rue, RUE, the very fact of your miserable birth!!
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Hey! Who keeps leaving the goddamn seat down?

Poovey

• Permalink: Hey! Who keeps leaving the goddamn seat down?
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Archer: Lana! I mean, Ms. Kane.
Lana: Lana is fine.
Archer: I'll say.
Lana: You'll say what?
Archer: Uhhh, nothing?
Lana: Ahhh, a man of mystery.

• Permalink: Ahhh, a man of mystery.
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Archer: How much of that did you hear?
Lana: Depends. What's your angle, Seamus?
Archer: (chuckles) Well, probably about 30 degrees.
[background rim shot]
Ray: (in background) Diminishing returns, Cliff!

• Permalink: Well, probably about 30 degrees.
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(to his cat) If I wanted your asshole on my mouth, I'd do it while you were asleep!

Krieger

• Permalink: If I wanted your asshole on my mouth, I'd do it while you were asleep!
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Dutch Dylan/Barry: Feels pretty good, huh, Dutch?
Dutch Dylan/Barry: Yes it does, other-Dutch. Yes it does.

• Permalink: Yes it does, other-Dutch. Yes it does.
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Charlotte/Cheryl: You're not planning to blindfold me and hide me in a bomb shelter with limited oxygen and send my family cryptic notes about how to find me in a race against time for my life?
Mother/Malory: Who are you, collective pseudonym Carolyn Keene?
Charlotte/Cheryl: What?
Mother/Malory: Who would go through all that trouble?
Charlotte/Cheryl: Johann Schmidt, a.k.a The Red Skull in my Nazi kidnap/rape fantasy.
Mother/Malory: Ewwww.

• Permalink: Who are you, collective pseudonym Carolyn Keene?
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