We better hurry before Pops comes back. You know he could be grabbing a tire iron or grabbing a ham, I never know.


Pops: It's not a mess son, it's a dance, it's a beautiful dance. Honestly when things are good with me and your momma I never feel more alive
Dre: Until she tries to kill you.
Pops: Well then I feel lucky to be alive, I told you, it's a dance.

Ruby: Nothing was ever proven.
Pops: Yeah son, sometimes boats just blow up.
Dre: Sometimes it happens twice.

Ruby:Bless his heart, are you sure he's ours?
Pops: You know there was another black baby in that nursery, but he looked smart. I bet he was ours.

Zoey: That's disgusting. We are not playing star-crossed lovers.
Junior: It's not like we're actually kissing.
Zoey: But I might actually kill myself.

Rainbow: You better share the glory lady or I will burn down your house of lies, or should I say, casa of lies?
Ruby: I didn't do it all, your mama washed the lettuce!

It's a miracle! Jesus turned the turkey to ham!


Ruby: If I didn't know you were mixed, I'd swear you were Chinese.
Rainbow: Ruby, that's racist!
Ruby: Black people can't be racist.
Dre: I was robbed by a damn Mexican!
Ruby: See, totally acceptable.

Rainbow: Now when I was a little girl my mom used to dress me and my sisters up as the three wise women and we would sing "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem."
Diane: Why, was she a drinker?

Wait, what? Mexican female Santa? No, too far from the box. Get closer, closer to the box!


Josh: That was beautiful. You're going to nail Santa.
Dre: Terrible choice of words.

He offered you ice cream? Dad gripped me up out of bed and shined a light in my eyes.


black-ish Quotes

This ain't our culture, we're black, not African. Africans don't even like us.


Wait, did they just put me in charge of the black stuff?