George, you're the greatest pothead I've ever known.

Ray

George, I don't like talking on the phone that much, but um you can call me all the time. I won't pick up, but you can leave me a message.

Ray

I don't negotiate with kidnapers or terrorists.

George

George: We gotta go. We'll be seven minutes early.
Ray: That's hardly a surprise.

Jonathan: What's your secret?
Kidnapper: Never go to bed angry. Pass this on to you.
Jonathan: Come on that's your secret? Never go to bed angry?!

Jonathan is this a joke? I've already vaporized two bags of pot.

George

Kidnapper: Do you have any rich friends?
Jonathan: Yes, I have one, but I really don't think I should involve my friends.

I've never had anything removed before. I mean like my appendix, tonsils, wisdom teeth. I hold onto everything. I'm like a hoarder I guess, I'm like completely intact.

George

Bored to Death Season 2 Episode 3 Quotes

Kidnapper: Do you have any rich friends?
Jonathan: Yes, I have one, but I really don't think I should involve my friends.

I've never had anything removed before. I mean like my appendix, tonsils, wisdom teeth. I hold onto everything. I'm like a hoarder I guess, I'm like completely intact.

George