Jake: So talk to me Goose, how are we lookin'?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.

Holt: I know you'd all rather be at home binge-watching media content...
Jake: Ohhh! I just started the second season of "Media Content". No spoilers.

Charles: "My hunch, my hunch, my lovely casey hunch!" Sing with me.
Jake: That's not gonna happen, I will literally never -- "What you gonna do with all that hunch, all that hunch inside your brain!"
Charles and Jake: "We're gonna solve, solve, solve this case, solve this case right in your face!"

And now, a message of hope. Everything is garbage. You find something you care about, and it's taken from you. Your colleagues, your dream job, your mango yoghurt. Never love anything. That's the lesson.

Holt

My mother cried when I was born because she knew that she'd never be better than me.

Gina

Santiago: Pretty hungover?
Peralta: Shhhhh...turn off your mouth siren...

I’ve got some stories that will make Training Day look like Super Troopers.

Peralta

Santiago: You go through doors normally, and everyone calls you pineapples.
Peralta: My grandma calls me pineapples, and I regret telling you that.

Gina: But seriously, what’s your favourite Jay-Z song?
Interviewee: I dunno! Big Pimpin’? It’s Big Pimpin’!
Gina: Awww. Wrong answer, friend.

All Fire Marshals are doofuses, but Boone is King Doofus of Doofus Island.

Jake

Holt: Why do you idolize that man and the time he wrote about?
Peralta: Because the 70s were amazing! Everyone had big juicy mustaches and all the clothes were orange...and flammable.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Jake: So talk to me Goose, how are we lookin'?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.