Jake: It's the most fun day of the year, something you wouldn't understand because you're not programmed to feel joy.
Holt: Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.

• Permalink: Yes, but my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.
• Added: March 04, 2014

"Cwazy" with a W, a backwards W.

Gina

• Permalink: "Cwazy" with a W, a backwards W.
• Added: March 04, 2014

I have a sexy voice! Champagne. Mountain Range. Hugs.

Jake

• Permalink: I have a sexy voice! Champagne. Mountain Range. Hugs.
• Added: March 04, 2014

Jake: How many times do I have to say it, she's like a sister.
Boyle: That's what Luke said about Leia!
Jake: Hey! Luke didn't know! No one knew!

• Permalink: Hey! Luke didn't know! No one knew!
• Added: March 04, 2014

Rosa: Right, that's the guy you said the lame stuff about, like he's a good listener.
Amy: Sorry, what do you look for in a guy?
Rosa: Real stuff, like the shape of his ass

• Permalink: Real stuff, like the shape of his ass
• Added: March 04, 2014

Jake: I'm gonna make a great dad.
Amy: Not even gonna touch that.
Jake: The Amy Santiago story.

• Permalink: The Amy Santiago story.
• Added: March 04, 2014

When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.

Jake

• Permalink: When it comes to shooting patterns, I like to go PB&J. Penis, Brain, Jaw.
• Added: March 04, 2014

That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have 77 arguments that I'm gonna win that way.

Rosa

• Permalink: That's my plan for dealing with everything. I have 77 arguments that I'm gonna win that way.
• Added: March 04, 2014

Terry: Talk to him, that's what friends do!
Rosa: Nope. I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.

• Permalink: Nope. I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.
• Added: March 04, 2014

Terry: Scully, I want you to do nothing. Just stand next to me and say, "Yes, Sarge."
Scully: Okay, Sarge.
Terry: Come on, man.

• Permalink: Come on, man.
• Added: March 04, 2014

Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts, boobs, whatever."

Jake

• Permalink: Almost makes me wanna take things seriously all the time, but then I'm like, "boobs, farts,...
• Added: March 04, 2014

Boyle: You wanna know why she went out with him and not you?
Jake: Yeah.
Boyle: Because he actually asked her out.

• Permalink: Because he actually asked her out.
• Added: March 04, 2014