Terry: Also keep Captain Holt away from her.
Jake: Really? Why?
Terry: He's always weird around her and it stresses her out. She says he reminds her of those judgemental trees from Lord of The Rings.
Jake: (scoffs) They're called Ents, get a life, dweeb.

Sharon: A doula is someone who supports you emotionally and physically, and coaches you through the process.
Jake: Oh I see, so sort of like a vaginal Gandalf.

Who doesn't bring their phone with them into the bathroom? That's like the whole reason to go in there.


Terry: Feels like you're being a little harsh.
Rosa: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh, I'll turn it up.

Terry: Don't let Rosa fool you, she's not that scary. She used to do ballet.
Sam: No way.
Rosa: Which gave me the physical skills I need to strangle you with my feet.

Jake: Ames you're two minutes late, I called all the emergency rooms.
Amy: I know, I went home from your place to shower and I was so tired that I fell asleep while shaving my legs.

I did some research on amicable breakups. I visited www dot ladiesgoodhealthmag dot com backslash sex hyphen relationships backslash 8 6 7 5 9 9 9 0 4 backslash 9 4 3 2 ampersand 2 2 5 dot html. Do you know that site?


I told Kevin about how I approved about your strategy for breaking up with Marcus, and he said that we were "sociopaths."


I was so scared, you guys. A psychic told me I was going to die alone in a pit, and I kept telling myself, "This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit."


Gina: If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it my way, okay? First I'm gonna need to break you down to nothing, and then build you back up, piece by piece.
Amy: The meeting's tomorrow.
Gina: Then we'll just break you down to nothing and see what time it is.

Amy: I'm afraid I might come across a little boring.
Gina: (gasp) Amy, are you asking me to "She's All That" you?!
Amy: I didn't read that.

Rosa: I don't want to talk about it.
Holt: I regret the words we've already spoken.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.

Jake: So talk to me Goose, how are we lookin'?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?