Terry: IT says the internet is down.
Gina: What?! Nooooooooo! I just clicked a link that said "Balloon Boy grew up hot." Now I will never see those pictures!
Rosa: Can't you just use the internet on your phone?
Gina: Bitch you know I'm out of data!

Awwww gross! Come out of an egg next time!

Jake

Sharon: A doula is someone who supports you emotionally and physically, and coaches you through the process.
Jake: Oh I see, so sort of like a vaginal Gandalf.

Who doesn't bring their phone with them into the bathroom? That's like the whole reason to go in there.

Jake

Terry: Feels like you're being a little harsh.
Rosa: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh, I'll turn it up.

Terry: Don't let Rosa fool you, she's not that scary. She used to do ballet.
Sam: No way.
Rosa: Which gave me the physical skills I need to strangle you with my feet.

Jake: Ames you're two minutes late, I called all the emergency rooms.
Amy: I know, I went home from your place to shower and I was so tired that I fell asleep while shaving my legs.

I did some research on amicable breakups. I visited www dot ladiesgoodhealthmag dot com backslash sex hyphen relationships backslash 8 6 7 5 9 9 9 0 4 backslash 9 4 3 2 ampersand 2 2 5 dot html. Do you know that site?

Holt

I told Kevin about how I approved about your strategy for breaking up with Marcus, and he said that we were "sociopaths."

Holt

I was so scared, you guys. A psychic told me I was going to die alone in a pit, and I kept telling myself, "This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit. This is a hole, not a pit."

Charles

Gina: If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it my way, okay? First I'm gonna need to break you down to nothing, and then build you back up, piece by piece.
Amy: The meeting's tomorrow.
Gina: Then we'll just break you down to nothing and see what time it is.

Amy: I'm afraid I might come across a little boring.
Gina: (gasp) Amy, are you asking me to "She's All That" you?!
Amy: I didn't read that.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 3 Quotes

Yes, we did kiss each other. For realz.

Amy

Terry: I'm Sgt Terry Jeffords.
Seth Dozerman: And I'm not interested. I have no use for people. I find people weird and confusing. I live my life by numbers.