Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Willow: On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke?
Xander: For twenty-one hours?
Willow: It's addictive, you know.
Giles: We'll deal with that when we've ruled out evil curses.
Buffy: One day, I'm gonna live in a town where evil curses are just generally ruled out without even saying.
Spike: How's the Annoying One?
Drusilla: He doesn't wanna play.
Spike: Figures. Well, suppose I better go make nice.
[He kneels to the Anointed One]
The Anointed One: You failed.
Spike: I offer penance.
Vampire: Penance? You should lay down your life! Our numbers are depleted. The feast of St. Vigeous has been ruined by your impatience!
Spike: I was rash, and if I had to do it all over again...
[Laughs]
Spike: Who am I kidding? I would do it exactly the same. Only I'd do this...
[Grabs the Anointed One and puts him in a cage]
The Anointed One: No!
[Spike lifts up the cage]
Spike: From now on, we're gonna have a little less ritual...and a little more fun around here.
[The cage goes into the sun. The Anointed One dies.]
Spike: Let's see what's on TV.
Xander: It’s no biggie. You’ll have a nice soiree, the parents will love you. As long as nothing really bad happens between now and then, you'll be fine.
Buffy: Are you crazy? What did you say that for? Now something bad is gonna happen.
Xander: What do you mean? Nothing's gonna happen.
Willow: Not until some dummy says, "As long as nothing bad happens."
Buffy: It's the ultimate jinx.
Willow: What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?
[Buffy and Willow leave frustrated]
Xander: What, you guys don’t know. Maybe this time it’ll be different?
Willow: She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her.
Xander: You're bad to the bone.
Willow: I'm a rebel.
Spike: Me and Dru...we're moving in. Now, any of you wanna test who's got the biggest wrinklies around here, step on up. I'll do your Slayer for you. But you keep your flunkies from trying anything behind my back. Deal?
[The Anointed One nods]
Drusilla: I can't see her. The Slayer. I can't see. It's dark where she is. Kill her. Kill her, Spike. Kill her for me?
Spike: It's done, baby.
Drusilla: Kill her for princess?
Spike: I'll chop her into messes.
Drusilla: You are my sweet. My little Spike.
Drusilla: Do you like daisies? I plant them, but they always die. Everything I put in the ground withers and dies. Spike, I’m cold.
[Spike puts his jacket on Drusilla]
Spike: I’ve got you.
Drusilla: I’m a princess.
Cordelia: Xander, I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell you if there's anything I could ever do to...
Xander: Do you mind? We're talking here. So, where were we?
[Cordelia walks away shocked]
Willow: Wondering why we never get dates.
Xander: Yeah. So, why do you think that is?
Angel: What I saw didn't add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts.
Buffy: Could this get yuckier?
Willow: They probably kept the other parts to eat.
Buffy: Question answered.
Xander: You know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too.
Giles: Hear, hear.
Buffy: Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and the women have the babies.
Cordelia: Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew you were gonna be digging up dead people sooner, I would've canceled.
Xander: All right, but if you come across the army of zombies, can you page us before they eat your flesh?
[Cordelia leaves the library]
Giles: Xander...
Xander: Huh?
Giles: Zombies don't eat the flesh of the living.
Xander: Yeah, I knew that. But did you see the look on her face?
Buffy: Are you jealous?
Angel: Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid.
Buffy: Is it because I danced with him?
Angel: “Danced with” is a pretty loose term. “Mated with” might be a little closer.
Buffy: Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success.
Angel: I am not jealous.
Buffy: You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous?
Angel: See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.
Buffy: Well, I didn’t come here to fight.
[Vampire surprises them both]
Buffy: Oh, right, I did.
Angel: We need you to distract the vampires.
Buffy: Right.
Xander: What are you gonna do?
Buffy: I'm gonna kill them all. That oughta distract them.
