Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Giles: But I assume I don’t have to warn you about the hazards of becoming personally involved with someone who’s unaware of your unique condition?
Buffy: Yeah, yeah. I read the back of the box.
Giles: If your identity as a Slayer is revealed, it could put you and all those around you in grave danger.
Buffy: Well, in that case, I won’t wear my button that says, “I’m a Slayer. Ask me how.”
Buffy: That was Owen.
Giles: Yes, I remember.
Buffy: Do you have any more copies on Emily Dickinson?! I need one.
Giles: Buffy, while the fact that you want to check out a book would be grounds for a national holiday, I think would we should focus on the problem at hand.
Buffy: Right. I’m sorry, you’re right. Vampires...
[She looks down]
Buffy: Does this outfit make me look fat?
[Giles is shocked]
And there will be a time of crisis, of worlds hanging in the balance, and in this time shall come...”The Anointed.” The Master’s great warrior. And the Slayer will not know him, will not stop him, and he will lead her into hell. As it is written, so shall it be.
The Master
Dr. Gregory: I know you can excel in this class, and so I expect no less. Is that clear?
Buffy: Yeah. Sorry.
Dr. Gregory: Don’t be sorry. Be smart. And please don’t listen to the principal or anyone else’s negative opinion about you. Let’s make him eat that permanent record. What do you say?
Buffy: Okay, thanks.
I don’t know what to say. It was really, I mean, one minute you’re in your normal life and then, “Who’s in the fridge?!” It really gets to you with a thing like that. It was...let’s just say I haven’t been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost like seven and a half ounces! Way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I’m not saying that we should kill a teacher every day so I can lose weight. I’m just saying when tragedy strikes we have to look on the bright side, you know? Like, how even used Mercedes have leather seats.
Cordelia
Giles: Well, basically, the She-Mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman and lures innocent virgins back to her nest.
Buffy: Virgins?! Well, Xander’s not...uh...uh...I mean he’s probably...
Willow: He’s gonna die!
[Willow gets up and leaves]
Miss French: Can I ask you a personal question? Have you ever been with a woman before?
Xander: You mean like in the same room?
Miss French: You know what I mean.
Xander: Oh that, well, let me think. Yeah, there was several, and I mean quite a few times. And then there was...oh, she was incredibly...no, uh huh.
Miss French: I know, I can tell.
Xander: You can?
Miss French: Oh, I like it. You might say...I need it.
Buffy: Any luck?
Giles: I’ve not found any creature as of yet that strikes terror in a vampire’s heart.
Buffy: Try looking under “things that can turn their heads all the way around.”
Giles: Nothing human can do that.
Buffy: Nothing human...but there are some insects that can. Whatever she is, I’m going to be ready for her.
Giles: What are you gonna do?
Buffy: My homework.
Buffy: Amy? Are you Amy?
Giles: I don’t understand.
Buffy: She switched...she switched your bodies, didn’t she?
Giles: Good lord.
Buffy: She wanted to relive her glory days.
“Catherine”: She said I was wasting my youth...so she took it.
First vampires, now witches. No wonder you can still afford a house in Sunnydale.
Xander
Joyce: Some of the best times I had in school were working on the yearbook.
Buffy: Well, this just in, I’m not you. I’m into my own thing.
Joyce: “Your own thing.” Whatever it is, got you kicked out of school and we had to move here to find a decent school that would take you.
[Buffy leaves upset]
Joyce: Honey...Ugh. Great parenting form; a little shaky on the dismount.
Buffy: You guys don’t have to get involved.
Xander: What do you mean? We’re a team. Aren’t we a team?
Willow: Yeah. You’re the Slayer, and we’re like the Slayerettes.
