Buffy the Vampire Slayer Quotes
Cordelia: What?
Giles: Oh, I'm sorry. Umm... your hair, uh...
Cordelia: There's something wrong with my hair?
[She touches her hair]
Cordelia: Oh my God.
[She runs away panicked]
Giles: Xander was right. It worked like a charm.
Willow: I think dummies are cute. You don't?
Buffy: Ughhh. They give me the wig, ever since I was little.
Willow: What happened?
Buffy: I saw a dummy. It gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there.
Buffy: No, wait. I’m not buying, you guys. Remember the hellmouth? Mystical activity is totally rife here. This to me says demon.
Giles: I’d like to think you’re right. A demon is a creature of evil, pure and very simple. A person driven to kill is...is...um...it's more complex.
Willow: The creep factor is also heightened. It could be anyone. It could be me!
[They all look at her.]
Willow: It's not though.
Buffy: Giles...into every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny.
Giles: If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least helped.
Buffy: Nah. I think I'll take on your traditional role...and watch.
Xander: And mock.
Willow: And laugh.
[They all laugh at him]
Buffy: Okay. I think maybe we better leave our Mr. Giles to this business he calls “show.”
Willow: The one boy that’s really liked me and he's a demon robot. What does that say about me?
Buffy: That doesn't say anything about you.
Willow: I mean, I thought I was really falling...
Buffy: Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I moved here turned out to be a vampire.
Xander: Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant praying mantis.
Willow: That's true.
Xander: Yeah, that's life on the hellmouth.
Buffy: Let's face it. None of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship.
Xander: We're doomed!
Buffy: Yeah.
[They laugh but stop silent]
Giles: Are you a witch?
Jenny: I don’t have that kind of power. “Techno Pagan” is the term.
[Giles is shocked]
Giles: There are more of us than you think.
Buffy: Besides, I can just tell something's wrong. My spider sense is tingling.
Giles: Your...spider sense?
Buffy: Pop culture reference. Sorry.
Buffy: Whatever Dave is into, it’s large.
Giles: What is the name of this place?
Buffy: It said “C.R.D.” I couldn’t get close enough to see what it was.
Xander: It’s Calax Research and Development; it’s a computer research lab. Third largest employer in Sunnydale until it closed down last year.
[They look at him dumbfounded]
Xander: What?! I can’t have information sometimes?
Giles: It’s just somewhat unprecedented.
Giles: I'm just gonna stay and clean up a little. I'll be back in the middle ages.
Jenny: Did you ever leave?
Xander: I mean, sure, he says he's a high school student, but I can say I'm a high school student.
Buffy: You are.
Xander: Okay, but I can also say that I'm an elderly Dutch woman. Get me? I mean, who's to say I'm not if I'm in the elderly Dutch chat room?
Buffy: I get your point. I get your point! Oh, this guy could be anybody. He could be weird, or crazy, or old or...he could be a circus freak. He's probably a circus freak!
Xander: Yeah, I mean, we read about it all the time. You know, people meet on the net, they talk, they get together, have dinner, a show. Horrible ax murder.
Buffy: Willow...ax murdered by a circus freak. Okay...okay, what do we do? What are we doing? Xander! You get me started. We’re totally overreacting.
Xander: But that’s fun, isn’t it?
Willow: His name is Malcolm Black. He’s 18, lives in Elmwood, which is about 80 miles from here, and he likes me.
Buffy: Short? Tall? Skinny? Fat?
Willow: Why does everything have to be about looks?
Buffy: Not everything, but some stuff is. I mean, what if you guys get really really intense and then you find out that he...has...a hairy back?!
Willow: Well, no. He doesn’t talk like somebody who would have a hairy back. And anyway, that stuff doesn’t matter when you really care about each other. Maybe I’m not his ideal either?
Buffy: Hey, I’m just trying to make sure that he’s good enough for you. I think it’s great you met someone.
Darla: Hi, it’s been a while.
Angel: A lifetime.
Darla: Or two. But who’s counting?
Angel: What’s with the Catholic school girl look? Last time I saw you was kimonos.
Darla: And the last time I saw you wasn’t high school girls.
[She curtsies]
Darla: Don’t you like?
