Community Season 1 Quotes
Pierce: Let's have one drink before we work ... to the empowerment of words
Jeff: To the irony of that sentence
Pierce: I can't have children. I'm not sterile. In fact, it's a rare condition they call it hyper virility. Apparently my sperm shoot through the egg if you can believe it
Jeff: I can't, but you can, so that's fine
Come on, hands people! It's 90% of Spanish
Senor Chang
Pierce: Why don't we go get a beer? I'll give you some advice and we can have what the kids are calling a sausage fest
Jeff: I'm not much of a sausage guy, maybe next time, Pierce
The truth is my life is emptier than this three ring binder. Annie, do you have any Spanish notes that might fit in there? Double spaced? Thank you. What's a guy gotta do to get a "C" around here?
Jeff
Jeff: You did seem less into integrity the day that I convinced 12 of your peers that the day you made a U-turn on the freeway and tried to order chalupas from the emergency call box, that your only real crime was loving America.
Professor Duncan: Well, I do love America. I love it very much. I love chalupas.
I thought you were like Bill Murray in any of his films, but you're more like Michael Douglas in any of his films.
Abed
We're the only species on Earth that observes Shark Week.
Jeff
Jeff: I'm actually a Spanish tutor.
Britta: Can you say that in Spanish now?
Pierce: My name is Pierce Hawthorne, and yes, that's Hawthorne as in "Hawthorne Wipes," the award-winning most towelette.
Jeff: I was just gonna ask.
Sorry, I was raised on TV. I was conditioned to believe that every black woman over 50 is a mentor of some kind.
Jeff
Sexually harassing? That makes no sense to me. Why would I harass someone that turns me on?
Pierce
