Community Season 1 Quotes
You're like a black ghost.
Shirley [to Abed's berka-wearing cousin]
Abed: I hate when they finish each other's...
Troy:... pies.
Slater: We need to talk.
Jeff: Are you breaking up with me?
Slater: Oh, good. Guess we don't need to talk.
Annie: How much effort am I worth?
Jeff: I'd break a light sweat.
I can't say no to those big doe eyes. It's like strangling a mermaid with a bike chain.
Jeff
I hate Glee! I don't see its appeal at all.
Jeff
I hate to say I told you so, so I'll shout it through cupped hands.
Jeff
Troy: You should be like Calvin. His best friend was a tiger, he always went on dope adventures, and if anything stood in his way, he just peed on it.
Pierce: Calvin Coolidge?
Don't be Mike Brady. Mike Brady's not sexy. You should be like Jo from Facts of Life.
Britta
I can't think of anything more frightening than a half-Polish, half-Arab virgin in his thirties. One way or another, that ends with an explosion.
Pierce
Coach: You're not in uniform
Jeff: Yeah about that. We seriously have to play pool in shorts?
Coach: If you play in this class it's regulation.
Jeff: Regulation pool or regulation you?
Troy: Abed, what are you doing?
Abed: Being myself.
Troy: Go be yourself by Jenny.
Abed: I wouldn't go over there.
Pierce: How do you know that?
Abed: A lifetime of observation mostly.
