Oh no, no, no. You turn my house around!

</i>

Gabrielle: Well, Carlos, they had your name.
Carlos: Oh, no. poor Ralph.
Gabrielle: Oh! Why is your back all sweaty?
Carlos: I was working out on the treadmill.
Gabrielle: Barefoot?

We met Gabrielle Solis the day she moved to Wisteria Lane. We were all excited to get a glimpse of a successful New York model.

Mary Alice

Carlos: Hey, babe. Why you home so early?
Gabrielle: Oh, honey! Oh, you're not dead!
Carlos: Who said I was dead?
Garielle: The police. They called me.
Carlos: What are you talking about?
Gabrielle: Honey, they didn't know all the details, but a witness said that they saw you run into the carpool lane to pick up a lawn chair that had fallen off some truck, and then a bus hit you right in front of the road crew. Why aren't you at the road crew?

Susan: What's the catch?
Karl: There's no catch. It's yours, Susie. Yours and Julie's. No strings attached.
Susan: I can't accept this. I just I gotta get out of this mess on my own.
Karl: This is not charity. I owe you... for everything I've done over the years, for all the heartache I've inflicted on you. Consider it payback.
Julie: Mom! There's a pool and a jacuzzi!
Karl: At least no one can drive off with it while you're sleeping, huh?

Carlos: Hey, babe, we haven't tried it in the kitchen yet.
Gabrielle: Honey, uh, I think it's time to unpack the pants.
Carlos: Right. It's nice to meet you ladies.
Mary Alice: Let me guess newlyweds?
Gabrielle: Four months, and I've dressed like this for two of them. He's insatiable.

Zach: Well, you said all of this was gonna be mine, so when do I get it?!
Noah: Empire is a highfalutin word, but that's what I've built. Unfortunately, an empire can only be ruled by an iron fist and a strong gut. I wanted to give it to you, Zach,
but I'm starting to have my doubts about you.
Zach: So what? Are you cutting me off?
Noah: I don't have any use for weakness. Get out.
Noah: What, are you gonna kill me? Prove you're a tough guy? See? That's why I can't give you the keys to the kingdom, Kid. No balls.

Xiao-Mei: Mrs. Solis! Why you home?
Gabrielle: Carlos is dead, Xiao-mei.
Xiao-Mei: No, please don't kill him.
Gabrielle: No, you don't understand. He's already dead.
There was an accident. He's all over the highway.
Xiao-Mei: No... he in kitchen.

Zach: Look,I know it's an expensive car, but I need one, so can I get the money?
Noah: You're a lousy liar, kid. I read the papers. I know what happened to your father. My guess is he's in the market for a fancy lawyer to get him some rich man's justice.
Zach: Please.
Noah: Paul Young put Deirdre in a box. My daughter. Your mother, so we're clear, I don't write checks to monsters.
Zach: Why can't you just give me the money? You're dying. You don't need it. I do.

Betty: It's not Caleb's.
Detective: You can try and deny it, but...
Betty: No, you don't understand. That jacket belongs to my other son.

Carlos: Hey, what are you doing?
Gabrielle: Trying to have sex with you.
Carlos: Now? Babe, it's kind of late.
Gabrielle: You don't wanna have sex with me? You always wanna have sex with me. You wanted to have sex with me an hour after your hernia operation.
Carlos: I'm a little preoccupied. A good man died today. Don't take it personally.

You don't understand. I'm not crazy . . . I just have a few issues.

Bree

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Quotes

Bree: Give me your tie.
Tom: What?
Bree: Give me your tie!
Lynette: Give it to her! Give it to her!

(to Rex's corpse) You look... magnificent.

Bree