Desperate Housewives Season 3 Quotes
Marcella: You, come with me.
Gabrielle: Marcella, look, I don't know what they told you, but all I'm asking for is a simple costume change.
Marcella: First of all, you don't get to pull that diva crap. Tanya gets away with it because she's a star. You are nothing.
Gabrielle: Now, just a minute! Where do you get off talking to me like that? You know, I shot thirty-six covers by the time I was twenty!
Marcella: Well, you're thirty now. And when you make that face, you look thirty-five.
Gabrielle: Let me ask you something. Do you know how many photographers would die to work with me again?
Marcella: Yeah. Zero. I had to call in major favors just to get you this job.
Gabrielle: I don't believe that.
Marcella: Well, you know what I don't believe? You gave up a brilliant career to play house in the suburbs, and the minute it falls apart, you come back here expecting a homecoming parade. Well, guess what, sweetie? We've moved on. Now get your polyester self over there and act like the pro you used to be.
Karl: (About Ian) Fine, that's it, all right? I forbid you to see this guy!
Susan: What?! No! I don't take orders from you!
Julie: Mum has a point, dad. You can't tell her who she can or can't date. It's her choice.
Susan: Exactly, thank you! Wait, no, that does not apply to you!
Karl: You know if you don't care about my feelings, I don't know what I'm doing here!
Susan: Your feelings?! My God! You are the worst bad cop ever!
Susan: (to Julie) Go to your room! (Austin follows) Not you!
Each year as part of their fund-raising drive, the Fairview Adventure Scouts would award a shiny new bike to whoever sold the most magazine subscriptions. And each scout would set out utterly convinced the prize would be hers. That's the beauty of youth. Little girls believe anything is possible...that is, until they grow up and get divorced.
Mary Alice
Susan: Hey, is that the new neighbor?
Gabrielle: He's cute!
Lynette: Edie said he's a bachelor.
Gabrielle: Keep talking.
Lynette: Who lives with his invalid sister.
Gabrielle: You can stop now.
For the rest of you, hi, I'm Carolyn. I'm sorry for putting a crimp in your day, but I'm pretty sure my cheating husband is in here right now phoning the police so I'm counting on all you folks to help me keep them outside 'til Harvey and I have a chance to (showing her gun) talk things over...
Carolyn
(to Lynette, after shooting Nora) I believe the phrase you're looking for is "Thank you".
Carolyn
(to the shoppers she is holding hostage) Attention, shoppers, we're having a special today on not getting shot, but it's only available at the back of the store.
Carolyn
(Lynette offers to go for custody of Kayla.)
Tom: I never thought you'd want a fifth kid.
Lynette: I don't, and I didn't want the first four, but they're starting to grow on me.
Carolyn: There's never a good reason for hitting a woman.
Bree: I used to think that too. Then I met you. Good day.
Susan: Carolyn, open up, my daughter's inside!
Carolyn: Sorry, store's closed.
Susan: But there's a crazy woman in there!
Carolyn: Yeah, I know. (she waves the gun in front of Susan)
Edie: Oh my god! Austin's there. And Julie. Get your ass out there before someone gets hurt!
Harvey: What am I, a moron? She'll shoot me.
Edie: She has got 10 innocent people out there. Sometimes you gotta take one for the team.
Carolyn: I've been thinking Harvey, that if you love Monique so much maybe you should be with her.
Harvey: For gods sake Carolyn, she's dead.
Carolyn: I know.
(Carolyn pulls out her gun and starts shooting at Harvey.)
