Desperate Housewives Season 3 Quotes
Lynette: (refers to Carolyn killing Nora) Everyone in here has pain, but we deal with it. We swallow it and get going with our lives, but what we don't do is go around shooting strangers!
Carolyn: She deserved it!
Lynette: Well maybe you deserved to be cheated on!
(Susan confronts Julie with a can of beer.)
Julie: Oh, it was Austin's, okay? I was tutoring him, he brought beer, I told him to throw it out and he did, end of story.
Susan: Did you have any?
Julie doesn't answer and turns around.
Susan: I cannot believe this.
Julie: That's it! Go to your room and finish packing. This conversation is over!
Susan: The last time I checked, I was the parent.
Julie: The last time I checked, I was the daughter who never gave you any reason to doubt her. And don't play the parent card with me! I just finished packing your suitcase, doing your laundry and balancing your checkbook! And now I'm going to the store to buy your toothpaste.
Edie: (to Harvey Bigsby about the shoplifting) Look, make him work it off. You get a free stock boy for a month!
Austin: A month? It's a 10 dollar bottle of whiskey!
Edie: Exactly! You weren't even smart enought to steal the good stuff!
First he cheated on me with a stewardess named Monique. How clich is that? And then he told people about it. Now there are news trucks out there... Judy Pope's husband has an affair, nobody finds out. Mine cheats and they break into programming!
Carolyn
Mary Alice: (voiceover) Lynette Scavo had a dream that night. It was one she had many times before...
Lynette: Hey, Mary Alice! Are you okay?
Mary Alice: (reading the blackmail note) Yes, thank you. I'm fine.
Lynette: OK! I'll see you later.
Mary Alice: (voiceover)... but this night something changed.
Lynette: (walks towards her) No, you're not. I can tell. Please, tell me what's wrong. Let me save you.
Mary Alice: You can't.
Lynette: Why not?
Mary Alice: Sweetie, we can't prevent what we can't predict.
Lynette: Isn't there anything I can do?
Mary Alice: Yes, you can enjoy this beautiful day. We get so few of them.
(Lynette looks at the sky and smiles. But when she turns around, Mary Alice is gone.)
Mary Alice: (voiceover) This was the last time Lynette would ever dream of me. And for her sake, I'm grateful.
Harvey: Carolyn, honey, it's me. Harvey. Look, I'm really sorry, what I did was wrong, but I still love you a lot.
Carolyn (eating cookies): Cut the crap. I had my hair done this morning, did you notice, huh, you even notice?
Harvey: I was distracted... you were shooting at me.
Edie: Tell her to let the kids go.
Carolyn: Who the hell was that?! You got a woman in there?
Harvey: She's a customer!
Carolyn: Don't lie to me, Harvey, she is another one of your whores, isn't she?!
Edie: Oh, fantastic!
Harvey: Carolyn, I swear...
Carolyn: I hope you're having a good time in there whore, because I got a bullet for you too!
(on the verge of death, to Lynette) I don't have later, you stupid bitch...
Nora
(Lynette, Susan and Gabrielle are talking in front of Susan's house, then the new resident of the Youngs' old house gets out)
Susan: Hey is that the new neighbor?
Gabrielle: He's cute.
Lynette: Edie said he's a bachelor.
Gabrielle: Keep talking.
Lynette: Who lives with his invalid sister.
Gabrielle: You can stop now.
(The women keep looking at him)
Susan: Should we go and introduce ourselves?
Gabrielle: Yeah, let's give him the scoop on the neighborhood.
They start walking towards him.
Lynette: Do you think he knows Mary Alice shot herself in his living room?
Susan stretches out her hand and stops them.
Susan: Then again, he probably needs some time to unpack.
The women nod and turn around.
(Susan is trying to close her suitcase.)
Ian: I have an expense account.
Susan: And you're just telling me this now? (unzips her suitcase and starts taking stuff out.)
Carolyn: (to hostage) Do I know you?
Hostage: My son Jordan's in your Sunday School class.
Carolyn: Oh yes he's a great little boy. So don't do anything that will make him wake up tommorow without a mommy.
(Nora is whispering to Lynette.)
Nora: I hope all this is giving you a little perspective on our situation.
Lynette: Shh! She told us not to talk.
Nora: You're thinking about your kids, right? How awful it'd be to never see them again. Well, that's what you're asking me to feel, but for the rest of my life!
Lynette: Nora, please!
Carolyn: Hey, what'd I say?
Lynette: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We'll, we'll be quiet.
Carolyn: You and your friend are really starting to bug me.
Lynette: She's not my friend.
Nora: She's trying to steal my kid.
Lynette: Nora, shut up!
Carolyn: Is that true?
Lynette: No! I, we're, we have, we're sharing custody, and then, she tried to seduce my husband, so...
Carolyn: She put the moves on your husband? Why didn't you say so?
(She turns the gun on Nora and shoots her coldly. The other customers gasp and shriek.)
It was supposed to be an ordinary day for Carolyn Bigsby. She had planned to bake her husband a strudel, give her dog a bath, and water her African violets. Yes, Carolyn had planned to do all sorts of things she thought mattered. But earlier that day, a woman who wasn't her friend told Carolyn something she wasn't supposed to hear. From that moment on, Carolyn felt nothing really mattered anymore.
Mary Alice
