Desperate Housewives Season 3 Quotes
Gabrielle: Can I tell you guys something? Something I can only tell you guys?
Susan: Oh god, here she goes again! What grade is he in?
Look Susan, God called you a cab...
Lynette
Tom: You said you'd support me.
Lynette: My mistake. I assumed you'd have a dream worth supporting.
Mary Alice: (opening voiceover) It is often said that confession is good for the soul. No one knew this better than a certain blonde who had been confessing her sins to Father O'Malley once a week since she was a child. As the years had passed, much to Father O'Malley's dismay, a theme began to emerge...
(Flashback: Edie is in the confessional.)
Edie: I seduced the cable guy again.
(Flashback: Edie is in the confessional.)
Edie: I'm having an affair with a folk singing duo.
(Flashback: Edie is in the confesional.)
Edie: Last week I let Rabbi Lipman get to third base.
Mary Alice: And once she had been forgiven, Father O'Malley would tell Edie Britt to go out into the world and sin no more. Unfortunately for Edie, temptation seemed to be...
(Present: Edie walks into Mike's hospital room.)
Edie: Hello there.
Mary Alice: ...everywhere.
(Gabrielle, Lynette and Susan are drinking.)
Gabrielle: I'm just gonna say it. Tequila... makes me happy!
(Elderly couple walks by)
Gabrielle: Yeah, were drinking on the porch! You got a problem with that?
Lynette: I know them, they live on Cypress. They've just celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary.
Susan: Show-offs!
Susan: Ah! That's nice! So, where were we?
Lynette: You were trying to figure out how to kill Edie without doing time.
Susan: Oh, I wish Paul Young was still around. He'd know what to do.
Mike: Edie, what were we like together, before the accident?
Edie: What do you mean?
Mike: You know, were we close?
Edie: Honestly? We lived about fifteen feet from each other, and you barely knew that I existed.
Mike: Seriously?
Edie: Mm-hmm. It's true. I mean, you weren't rude or anything. We'd wave or exchange hellos as we went to get our mail, but you never really looked at me. Not really. I, I was just another neighbor to you.
Mike: But if we weren't friends, then why are you here every day helping me?
Edie: Because from the first moment I laid eyes on you, I sort of fell in love with you.
Mike: Oh.
Edie: Yeah. And I'm not telling you this because I expect anything, so you can just relax, OK?
Mike: OK.
Edie: But when you do come back home, and we do run into each other when we're getting our mail, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just look at me. That's all.
Mike: I'm looking at you now.
(He pulls her toward him and they begin to kiss.)
(drunk) Oh my god! I just thought of something. I'm never gonna celebrate a 53rd wedding anniversary. I'd have to live into my nineties. Oh My God! I'm gonna die!
Susan
There is a place in St. Timothy's church
Mary Alice
where sinners go to confess their sins. And once they're done,they expect absolution. But the truth is, not all confessions are worthy of such forgiveness. Most who unveil hidden agendas deserve the condemnation they receive. Most who disclose vengeful motives merit the punishment that follows. Only the truly repentant have any right
at all to expect a second chance... Which is why it's best to think twice before you confess... Especially if you don't know what it is you're confessing to.
Carlos: You wanna wash my shorts?
Gabrielle: I don't want to, but if you wear them one more time, they're gonna ask me themselves.
Tom: Okay, now when I say open, don't look with your eyes. Look with your imagination.
Lynette: Okay.
Tom: Okay. Open.
Lynette: Oh dear god.
Tom: Damn it, you looked with your eyes!
The art of sabotage...it's practiced every day in the suburbs. (shot of a woman preparing a cake) Sometimes it takes the form of a bundt cake offered to a friend who's on a diet. (shot of a woman cutting the cable and greeting her husband's friends) Other times, it's a cable cut just as a husband's friends arrive to watch the big game. (shot of Mrs McCluskey calling the city zoning department) And then there's always that anonymous phone call to the city zoning department. (Bree goes to the motel where her daughter and Mr Faladi are staying) Yes, in suburbia, everyone you meet is a potential saboteur...absolutely everyone...Yes, the art of sabotage...it's practiced every day in the suburbs...But few do it as well as Bree Hodge...or as politely.
Mary Alice
