He fine. Can I have your fake brother's real number? I'd like to climb that family tree.

Ava

Oh no!!

Tim
  • Permalink: Oh no!!
  • Added:

If it walks like a ducks, and quacks like a duck, it’s fucking my ex-girlfriend — like a duck.

Helen

That's insane!

Carol

You think having only one ball would make it look bigger, but I guess not.

Matt

The car is so far away.

Carol

Carol: It might be good for me and Helen not to be together all the time.
Beverly: Oh no, it's a brilliant plan!
Carol: Yeah!
Beverly: You going to work for your male ex-lover -- that won't feed her already spectacular paranoia!
Carol: I'm just saying, I think --
Helen: Hey girls!
Carol and Beverly: AHH!!!
Helen: What a warm welcome!

Matt: You know what else is ironic?
Sean: Um -- that's not exactly what irony is.

Matt: Can they get out?
Director: The bugs, or the people?
Matt: Either?
Director: No.

Beverly: Life were a lot simpler before you became a lesbian.
Carol: Lesbian? I’m not a lesbian!
Beverly: What would you call it?
Carol: I don’t know! I feel uncomfortable with labels.
Beverly: Label or not, if you open up a can of beans, and there’s beans in it, it’s a can of beans!

Matt: Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
Sean: Don't you think you've fucked us enough -- I wasn't even going there.

Merc: I'm excited about this!
Matt: I know you are.

Episodes Quotes

Customs Official: Reason for entering the country?
Beverly: Matt. LeBlanc.

Beverly: Bloody ridiculous.
Sean: Utter bullshit.