If it walks like a ducks, and quacks like a duck, it’s fucking my ex-girlfriend — like a duck.Helen
You think having only one ball would make it look bigger, but I guess not.Matt
The car is so far away.Carol
Carol: It might be good for me and Helen not to be together all the time.
Beverly: Oh no, it's a brilliant plan!
Beverly: You going to work for your male ex-lover -- that won't feed her already spectacular paranoia!
Carol: I'm just saying, I think --
Helen: Hey girls!
Carol and Beverly: AHH!!!
Helen: What a warm welcome!
Matt: You know what else is ironic?
Sean: Um -- that's not exactly what irony is.
Matt: Can they get out?
Director: The bugs, or the people?
Beverly: Life were a lot simpler before you became a lesbian.
Carol: Lesbian? I’m not a lesbian!
Beverly: What would you call it?
Carol: I don’t know! I feel uncomfortable with labels.
Beverly: Label or not, if you open up a can of beans, and there’s beans in it, it’s a can of beans!
Matt: Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
Sean: Don't you think you've fucked us enough -- I wasn't even going there.
Merc: I'm excited about this!
Matt: I know you are.
Carol: Oh you're gonna laugh!!
Beverly: I don't.