That never stops being creepy.

Carter

Hard to be the big dog with your tail between your legs.

Jessica Lansky

Zoe asked me advice about her new guy. Her new guy is my *old* guy?!

Jo

Carter: Some homecoming huh?
Zoe: It certainly wasn't dull.

Allison: How are we doing?
Zoe: We are not garden statuary anymore.

Henry: So what do you think I should do?
Carter: Find the person you would least likely to ask for advice and go to them.
Henry: I thought that was what I was doing.

So he rejiggered the perm! I knew someone had rejiggered something!

Carter

Why did it take me 40 years to do that?

Carter

Get away from him you bitch! (Shout-out to Aliens)

Allison

Come with me if you want to live. (Shout-out to The Terminator)

Fargo

You were right; I am not your Henry... yet.

Henry

Nothing like being chased by a giant killer robot to make you want your mom.

Carter

Eureka Quotes

Carter: You sure this is not some sort of science-geek-ren-faire thing?
Allison: Well, either we are both having the same delusion or we are really stuck in 1947.

Carter: What does a nanny have that I don't?
Allison: A PhD in early childhood development with an emphasis on organic nutrition.