Evil
Sundays 10:00 PM on CBSEvil Season 1 Quotes
Kristen: I haven’t been high in 15 years.
Acosta: I haven’t been high in 15 days.
Kristen: Ah, God, it’s great here.
Acosta: Not another house for 10 miles. It’s like the start of a horror movie.
Kristen: Oh well, bad cellphone coverage. Guess all we need is car trouble, and we’ll have won horror movie bingo.
Leon: Tell me, are you convincing my son not to become a priest?
Acosta: Dad!
Leon: I’ll tell you right now, I want my seed spread far and wide.
XXX: Is he talking about his seed again?
Leon: Hey, I’m in my 60s; what else am I gonna do?
Welcome to the gully. I want to paint a T-shirt for you, something red.
Leon
Leon: Look, I know we hit that fork in the road -- you danced off toward religion, I got swallowed up with art. What you feel when you pray, get a whiff of that incense, I feel right here with color. The way St. John of the Cross talks about mysticism, that’s how I feel about painting. Someone paints through me; my hand is divinely guided.
Acosta: By who?
Leon: I don’t know: spirit, perfect muse. All I know is when I’m painting, it’s crap, but when somebody else paints through me, that’s when it all comes together.
Acosta: How do you know it’s not some bad spirit painting through you?
Leon: Now, you’re talking like a priest. There’s no good or bad in art. The more years you put on you, you’ll see. Duality doesn’t exist. There’s just what is.
Kristen: Well, there is a psychological condition called coercive control. A criminal husband can dominate his spouse and force her to hide his crimes. And sometimes, the dominated spouse will even take the blame for the crimes.
Ben: Why does psychology always sound like a con to me? It does. It’s like religion for grad students.
What are you doing? Fleabagging?
Mira
Kristen: So Leland is a psychopath who uses the metaphor of demonology to give his pursuits meaning?
Acosta: If that’s the best way for us to communicate, then yes. If he comes back Kristen, you have to tell me. There are two sides to this; it’s not enough to just use logic.
Kristen: If he comes back, you’re gonna have to keep me from killing him.
Townsend: You hold the power to make your life what you want. You need to get back at her.
Boy: How? If I do anything to her, she’ll tell the police.
Townsend: People generally don’t believe women. They overreact and are emotional. And if you do it right, she’ll be too embarrassed to tell anyone. Be a man.
Kristen: So what do you think?
Acosta: I think we’re in a bad spot.
Kristen: You think she did it?
Acosta: I think he did it.
Kristen: David, I love our debates over these issues, but not when it comes to murder.
Acosta: She would sometimes blow up a balloon to hear God more accurately.
Silvio: Excuse me?
Acosta: She would blow up a toy balloon.
Silvio: Do you not find this odd – a prophet requiring the blowing up of a balloon?
Ben: I found it off that there was a prophet at all. Everything after that was just gravy.
Silvio: What does that mean: gravy?
Ben: It means that once something is stupid, it doesn’t matter how much more stupid gets piled on top of it.
Once upon a time there was a girl who was so burned by her parents that she looked like a monster. No one could look at her for more than a minute. She couldn’t go outside because people were too scared of her. They would scream and they would run away, but Halloween night was the only night she could go out because she could wear a mask and no one thought it was weird. And no one was scared of her until she took it off.
Fake Brenda
