Evil
Sundays 10:00 PM on CBSEvil Season 1 Quotes
Duke: I promised to give you 20 minutes, so Patty doesn’t drop a Me Too dime on me.
Acosta: So you think you’re vulnerable to the Me Too issues?
Duke: I didn’t say that. There’s a reason Harvey Weinstein went down. I don’t use sex, and I’m much more talented.
Townsend: So, a deep fake, how very modern. Those are my tools.
Kristen: What did Shakespeare say? ‘To do a great right, do a little wrong.’ Technology’s a bitch.
Townsend: You know the next line? ‘And curbed this cruel devil of his will.’ There are forces in play, Kristen Bouchard.
Kristen: Does this bother you? Talking about it?
Acosta: No.
Kristen: It’s just, there are so many things wrong with the Church.
Acosta: That’s one of the reasons we need good people.
Kristen: If you want us out of here, just admit that it’s anger management.
Duke: Who the hell are you, lady?
Kristen: Somebody who enjoys your shows but thinks you’re being a bit of a dick. Genius doesn’t mean you can treat people any way you want; it means shutting up and doing good work.
God draws in straight lines. The devil draws in puzzles and anagrams.
Father Amara
Duke: If you’re really Patty’s church people, say some prayers, sprinkle some Holy Water, c’mon get going.
Acosta: Is that what you want?
Duke: What I want is for you to get this over with so I can roll my calls. Do I have anger issues? Maybe, but I’m a perfectionist. I’m a demanding person, and I’m surrounded by millennial nonentities. Here, look. Two spaces after every period. How many times do I have to tell them? One!
Kristen: That’s a real thing: People pledging their souls?
Acosta: It’s real in that if a human wants power, they can trade away their future for that power.
Kristen: Oh, so you mean it as a metaphor.
Acosta: No, I think a lot of what we consider metaphor is real.
Ben: Are you texting?
Kristen: No, I’m taking notes.
EMT: I’m not religious; I don’t believe in all that stuff, but c’mon, that girl was dead for three hours. I saw her dead.
Acosta: Do you think it was a miracle?
EMT: I don’t know; I don’t like that word, but something happened. You can call it a miracle, you can call it just weird, but something happened.
George: Bad dream? Try counting sheep.
Kristen: You plague my mind, you’re not even original. You’re from a bad TV show.
George: Bad? Well, that’s just hurtful.
Monsignor: How’s the assessment at Harbor Hospital going?
Acosta: The miracle?
Monsignor: That is debatable. You know the priest, Father Augustus?
Acosta: I do.
Monsignor: I’m not sure God uses an alcoholic for his miracles.
Acosta: He used Moses.
Kristen: I just don’t understand how God couldn’t choose winners and losers.
Acosta: He doesn’t.
Kristen: But if there are miracles, and some people get them and some people don’t, right, isn’t that problem with miracles? Not that they happen, but they happen to some people and not to others.
You know what I like about sex? That moment when you see in her eyes she wants you. Kristen wants you, or when she bites you. Oh my god. Screams like she’s out of her mind. You can’t tell me that from Madeline. You don’t say she screams like a saint; she screams like a fricking steam engine. I’m sorry. Did that distract you? Why don’t you make up your own prayers? Why do you keep repeating that same old crap over and over again? Who’s on first? I’m asking you who’s on first? That’s the man’s name. That’s who's name? Yes. When then who’s on first? Yes. Go ahead and tell me. That’s it; that’s who. Yes.
Townsend
