Fresh Off the Boat
Fridays 8:30 PM on ABCFresh Off the Boat Season 1 Quotes
Eddie: Oh hey, maybe your stepdaughter Nicole would like to join?
Honey: Sure. I'll ask Marvin and then he'll ask her and she'll tell him what the answer is. It's the way we communicate at dinner. (sighs) Takes a long time to get the salt.
Jessica: And we have been invited to the chamber of commerce charity fundraising event. It's in a country club!
Louis: Why are you so excited about a country club?
Jessica: Because of Caddyshack. It's my favorite movie set in a country club. I've always wanted to go to one. "Spaulding get your foot off the boat!" It's so much yelling. It's so good.
Mitch: One blooming onion.
Louis: Uh, Mitch, I think you meant to say one booming onion. Blooming onion is the intellectual property of one less good restaurant.
Eddie: I'll cut ya! Headbutt ya! (rapping)
Emery: Mom! Eddie's rapping at my always-there bear.
Eddie: Did they give you that pin for narcing?
Louis: You're not taking Mitch.
Mitch: They doubled my salary.
Louis and Jessica: OK, goodbye Mitch.
Louis: I guess this isn't the country club night you were expecting.
Jessica: Are you kidding? We stuck it to a rich guy. It's just like Caddy Shack.
Louis: You better watch out because Scarface and Miller's Crossing are coming at you.
Restaurant Owner: Is that what you guys call each other? There's nothing I hate more than a couple of cinephiles.
Which one says I'm rich enough to be invited but not rich enough that you can ask me to donate money?
Jessica
Eddie: What's this?
Louis: 50 small to buy your video game
Eddie: Why?
Louis: Because you don't have to be a hard man to be a hard worker
Jessica: Come on, I'll show you the Miller house. Let me just get my kids. Come on! Marco!
Evan and Emery: Polo!
Furniture store clerk: Good afternoon. Can I help you?
Jessica: Jessica Huang (shakes his hand). Seven years managing #1 furniture store unlimited in Washington DC
Clerk: Um, Ok, are you looking for anything in particular?
Yes, $18.50 an hour and I need afternoons off to help my boys with their school work, oh and on Thursdays I need off to do my mother-in-law's nails. We both hate it but there is nothing we can do about it now (cut to Grandma Huang and Jessica)
Jessica: Pretty color (dryly)
Grandma Huang: Very (equally dryly)
Clerk: Um, I think there's been some sort of mistake. We're not hiring.
Jessica: But you put this ad in the paper
Clerk: It's an ad for 25% off mattresses
Jessica: Exactly! 25% on the highest margin item in the store. You obviously need my help.
Evan: When I grow up I want my specialty to be homemade pickles.
Emery: That’s new for you
Evan: I was gonna tell you
Emery: No it’s fine. I guess I’ll just have to share a bunk bed with a total stranger (walks off in a huff)
