One, two, three.
Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job,
It won't be long before you're the boss.
And you know who will be there to support you,
Your one and only boyfriend,
(One singer singing)
It's nice to have a boyfriend.
(All singing)
Your loyal, loving boyfriend, Ross.

Barbershop Quartet

Ross: I'm sorry, I was an idiot.
Rachel: A big idiot.
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard, I mean we've been together for almost a year now?
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Gunther: (Eavesdropping) Let it be me! Let it be me!

Joey: Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Chandler: I want to say you, but that seems like such an easy answer.

(To Ross) It was like you were marking your territory. You might as well have come in and peed all around my desk.


Rachel: Well, there's a kiss he won't forget for a few hours. You know?
Chandler: Yeah. Either that or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.

Mark: (Answering the phone) Rachel Green's line, how may I help you?
Ross: Hi, is Rachel there?
Mark: And who may I say is calling?
Ross: This is Ross.
Mark: Ross of...?
Ross: Of Ross and Rachel.

Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.

Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little noose at the end?


Cookie: Hey. What are we drinking over here?
Phoebe: Well, I have, ah, vodka and cranberry juice.
Cookie: No kidding. That's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Phoebe: Wow. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you.

Joey: Oh My God. How many of these have you had? These are pure vodka.
Chandler: Yup, Jello just like mom used to make.

Ross: (About Mark offering Rachel a job) Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, ya know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Rachel: To be nice.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.

Chandler: I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Monica: Yeah ... that was me.
Chandler: Sorry ... when I've been drinking too much, I can get a little over-friendly.
Monica: That's okay.
Rachel: That's okay.
Ross: (Pause) That's okay.

Friends Quotes

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!