Next I'm going to show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.


Rachel: Ah that's funny! You're a funny guy Chandler! And you know what else is really funny?
Chandler: (Hesitantly) Something else I might have said?

Rachel: Well, ya know that's actually a really good idea, because that way they'll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too.
Gunther: They already do. That's why they call it the "tray spot."
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, I'm sorry.

Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me, little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.

Gunther: Rachel, remind me to review with you which pot is regular and which pot is decaf.
Rachel: Can't I just look at the handles?
Gunther: You would think.

Monica: You broke a little girl's leg?
Ross: I know, I feel horrible, okay.
Chandler: Says here a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around tenish?

Rachel: Here we go. I'm serving my last cup of coffee. There you go. (Hands the cup to Chandler) Enjoy.
Chandler: (To Ross) Should I tell her I ordered tea?
Ross: No.

Well, wait a minute though. How are we going to get there, because my mom won't let me cross the street?


Monica: Losers walk.
Ross: Yeah? Losers talk.
Chandler: No, no, no. Actually, losers rhyme.

Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so, um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: Monica, I'm your best friend.
Ross: Sweetie, don't worry you'll get picked. Chandler.
Rachel: Ross!
Monica: Phoebe.
Ross: Sweetie, now I pick you.
Rachel: You don't pick me! You're stuck with me!

(In a sing-song voice) 42 to 21, like the turkey, Ross is done!


Joey: Prepare to feel very bad about yourself.
Chandler: Hey, well, I've been prepared for that my entire life. Or something about you that's mean.

Friends Quotes

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!