Futurama Season 2 Episode 15: "A Clone of My Own" Quotes
Cubert: Your explanations are pure weapons-grade bolog-nium. It's all impossible.
Farnsworth: Nothing is impossible. Not if you can imagine it. That's what being a scientist is all about.
Cubert: No, that's what being a magical elf is all about.
Farnsworth: These are the dark matter engines I invented. They allow my starship to travel between galaxies in mere hours.
Cubert: That's impossible. You can't go faster than the speed of light.
Farnsworth: Of course not. That's why scientists increased the speed of light in 2208.
Cubert: Also impossible.
Farnsworth: And what makes my engines truly remarkable is the afterburner which delivers 200% fuel efficiency.
Cubert: That's especially impossible.
Farnsworth: Not at all. It's very simple.
Cubert: Then explain it.
Farnsworth: Now that's impossible. It came to me in a dream and I forgot it in another dream.
Cubert: I didn't realise you were the inventor of the junk heap.
Farnsworth: That's my prize-winning Smellescope. If a dog craps anywhere in the universe, you can bet I won't be out of the loop.
Farnsworth: Oh, Cubert, come in here. I have something amazing to show you.
Cubert: What is it? A competent employee? I doubt that very much!
Fry: Little twerp.
Bender: Aye, Chihuahua!
And why does our space pilot have only one eye? There's someone I'd like you to meet. His name is depth perception!
Cubert
Cubert: And why do we need a bending robot around here anyway? What possible use do we have for you?
Bender: Uh... me no speaka the English.
Cubert: As long as I'm going to be in charge here, let me examine my so-called "crew", if it can so be called. First of all, "Doctor" Zoidberg, do you even have a medical degree?
Zoidberg: I lost it... in a volcano.
Fry: Where did Cubert come from?
Farnsworth: 12 years ago I began the cloning process by removing some skin cells from one of the shapelier growths on my back.
Leela: Wait. If he's your clone, why doesn't his nose look like yours?
Farnsworth: I left him in his first tube too long and he got squished up against the side.
Bender: Is he dumb or just ugly?
Farnsworth: Everyone, I have a very dramatic announcement. So anyone with a weak heart should leave now. Goodbye.
Leela: Uh, Professor?
Farnsworth: Oh, oh, yes, the announcement! As you all know, I am not long for this world.
Leela: Yes, we know.
Hermes: True, mon.
Amy: Buh!
Fry: One foot in the grave.
Fry: Sorry, everyone, but need I remind you? Blood is thicker than water.
Zoidberg: [writing] Blood... thicker... water.
Zoidberg: You? The successor? Over my empty shell! The Professor will pick me. Only I have his lobster-like tenacity.
Hermes: Up yours, Zoidberg. Up wherever your species traditionally crams things. The only sensible way to choose a successor is with a limbo contest.
Leela: What?
Hermes: Kingston rules. Two men go down, one come up.
Fry: Man, the Professor's been in his lab for days.
Bender: I hope he didn't die. Unless he left a note naming me his successor. Then I hope he did die.
