Futurama Season 2 Episode 5: "I Second That Emotion" Quotes
Leela: Thank you, Professor. I'm happy that Bender can finally feel my pain.
Bender: Happy. I like this feeling. Just don't revert to your usual mopey self.
Leela: I'm not mopey. You shut up!
Bender: Anger, huh? How dare you make me feel anger, you one-eyed jerk with a dead pet!
Farnsworth: Now I'll simply tune it to Leela's emotional frequency.
Bender: My God! I'm overcome with... feelings. I'm experiencing a powerful yearning to... to cram my gullet full of mackerel heads.
Zoidberg: That's me, baby!
Farnsworth: Hmm.
Bender: Now I'm worried that I'm not as smart as Leela, but at the same time I feel relieved that I'm cuter than her.
Amy: Uh... that's me.
Fry: Thanks for covering.
Bender: This time I miss Nibbler and I'm feeling nosy and opinionated.
Amy: Bingo!
Hermes: That's Leela!
Farnsworth: Quiet, you. I'm installing an empathy chip.
Fry: And that'll allow Bender to feel other people's emotions?
Farnsworth: Yes. If by "allow" you mean "force".
Bender: Hey, what the hell are you doing with my head?
Farnsworth: I need to tinker in it.
Bender: Why don't you just use a potted plant like Fry?
Leela: I wish just once Bender could feel exactly what I feel.
Farnsworth: Actually, through the miracle of science, that can be arranged.
Fry: Uh-oh. Is this gonna be another crazy experiment that crosses a line Man was not meant to cross?
Calculon: Give it to me straight, doctor, don't sugar-coat it.
Doctorbot: Very well. Your entire family died when a plane piloted by your fiance crashed into your uninsured home. And you have inoperable cancer.
Bender: Bet you weren't expecting that one, Calculon!
Farnsworth: And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I too hope one day to go: The toilet.
Leela: You have no sympathy for anyone else's feelings.
Bender: Of course I do. Right now I feel sorry for you.
Leela: You do?
Bender: Yeah. I mean, one cantaloupe-sized bloodshot eye? You ain't winning no beauty pageants, lady.
Leela: Aren't you upset at all? How would you feel if I flushed Fry down the toilet?
Bender: Only one way to find out.
They want a cake? I'll give them a cake (grabs a package of arsenic) mwahaha! (pours arsenic right next to a mouse hole) There, that oughta keep the rats away. Now, to bake a cake so delicious, they'll have to notice me!
Bender
Leela: You know, Bender may not have learned anything from me, but I think I actually learned something from him. So long, jerkwads!
Farnsworth: So long!
Farnsworth: Bender, you won't believe this, but the empathy chip burned out. The emotion you felt for Nibbler was actually your own.
Fry: Looks like Bender learned an important lesson about respecting other people's feelings after all.
Farnsworth: No, I'm wrong. The empathy chip was running at triple capacity.
Bender: And I still barely felt anything. Good night, losers!
