Futurama Season 2 Episode 9: "Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love" Quotes
Leela: It's amazing that your people can fall in love so fast.
Zoidberg: Love? That word is unknown here. I'm simply looking for a female swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material.
Fry: You and me both, brother.
Zoidberg: I'm confused, Fry. I'm feeling a strange new emotion. Is it love when you care about a female for reasons beyond mating?
Fry: Nope. Must be some weird alien emotion.
Fry: So you have to choose a horrible death or a life without sex?
Zoidberg: Yes
Fry: Hmm, tough call.
Edna: Oh, gee, yeah, I'm just going through a lot of things right now and... Look, Zoidberg, I carry more eggs than any other female and I owe it to our race to pick a mate who's stuffed with male jelly. Maybe a rock star.
Zoidberg: Or maybe a doctor?
Edna: I'm sorry, Zoidberg. You're just an inferior male specimen. Nice seeing you again.
Edna: Zoidberg? Well I didn't know you were back in town. I heard you went off and became a rich doctor.
Zoidberg: I've performed a few mercy killings.
Edna? Edna, it's me, Zoidberg. Remember, from high school? You used to laugh at me because my face was covered with barnacles!
Zoidberg
Fry: No biggie.
Zoidberg: Yes biggie. I learned to feel things I'd never felt before: Love, jealousy, passion for disembowelling. I owe it all to you.
Zoidberg: Craw!
Decapodian Woman #1: Keep your jelly away from my eggs!
Zoidberg: Craw?
Decapodian Woman #2: So not interested.
Zoidberg: Craw!
Decapodian Woman #3: Humph. I've heard that line before!
Fry: Look how ridiculous they look.
Bender: Please, he's no different from the rest of you organisms; shooting DNA at each other make babies. I find it offensive.
Leela: Why is Zoidberg the only one still alone?
Bender: 'Cause he's a loser, that's why. He's the lobster equivalent of Fry.
Well it was nice of you to let me reattach your arm, Fry, especially after I made a complete eel out of myself.
Zoidberg
My fellow fish monsters, far be it for me to question your stupid civilization or its dumb customs, but is squeezing each other's brains out with a giant nutcracker really going to solve anything?
Fry
