Futurama Season 2 Episode 9: "Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love" Quotes
Bender: Fry, I've never asked you for anything before but, if it's not too much trouble, when it comes to the ninth round just let him win.
Fry: But it's a fight to the death!
Bender: Oh, so this is suddenly all about you. Sheesh!
Zoidberg: I choose my own claws! I want the tactile pleasure of chopping him right here in the gonads!
He points at Fry's neck
Fry: Shh! Nobody correct him!
Fry, having guessed what animal I was thinking of, you shall have first choice of weapon.
Decapodian Emperor
Decapodian Emperor: Edna, have you anything to say before begins the Claw-Plach?
Edna: I do. I just want to say that today I got up and I had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth-
Fry: Shut up!
Edna: I love you Fry!
Zoidberg: Fry, it's been years since medical school so remind me. Disembowelling in your species: Fatal or non-fatal?
Fry: Fatal.
Zoidberg: Large bet on myself in round one!
Decapodian Emperor: Listen, lady, as you can plainly see I'm a highly desirable male, groaning with jelly. Yet I embrace a life of celibacy in order to uphold our crazy traditions. One of your friends must die.
Bender: Fate is cruel and unyielding and what must be must be. Takin' all bets! I'm giving 9-2 on Zoidberg, the crab with the jab! The Great Red Hope!
Zoidberg: Get ready, Fry. I'm going to rip your swim bladder out and show it to you.
Leela: Dr. Zoidberg, this is madness. You're being irrational.
Zoidberg: Of course I'm being irrational! I'm in love!
Leela: Aww.
Decapodian Emperor: The law is clear. Fry and Zoidberg shall fight to the death for the claw of the beautiful Edna.
Fry: But I don't want her!
Decapodian Emperor: Once invoked, the sacred tradition of Claw-Plach can not be taken back. It is a recent tradition, only 18 years old, but it is a tradition none the less.
Edna: Oh, it's true, Zoidberg. We can't hide it any longer. Fry and I have fallen in love and we're going to mate tomorrow.
Fry: What?!
Fry: Dr. Zoidberg, it's not how it looks.
Zoidberg: Her caviar is on your neck!
Edna: Teach me to love you, squishy poet from beyond the stars!
Fry: Uh, I'm flattered, really. If I was gonna do it with a big, freaky mud bug you'd be way up the list!
Fry: No thanks. I just came to tell you that Zoidberg's really great. He's got male jelly coming out the wazoo.
Edna: Well that is where it comes out...
