Favorite Gary Unmarried Quotes
Why does Louise have to learn Chinese? When the Chinese take over the world they're going to teach it to us for free in their re-education camps
Allison [about riding a dirt bike]: Get on there, what's the worst that could happen?
Tom: I dunno, having to learn to type with a pencil taped to my head?
Ms Plummer: Sometimes the anticipation of the event is more exciting than the even itself
Gary: So my reputation as a lovemaker precedes me
Random Guy: Excuse me, other people are waiting here
Gary: Yeah, but they're keeping it to themselves
Dennis: Burned!
Dennis: Why don't you go over to Ms. Plummer's?
Gary: I can't, she has cats
Dennis: What's wrong with cats?
Gary: I can't get naked in front of cats, they bat at things that dangle
Lindsay: Why are you whispering?
Gary: I'm at the opera
Lindsay: Are you painting it?
Tom: What are you reading?
Ella: Pre-calc
Tom: I read the sequel, calculus
Ella: My people hate your people
Tom: You're talking about painters and floorers, not Koreans and whatever I am, right?
What do you say, Kim? Let's get out there and settle this with our balls
Jack: Why can't I remember anything?
Gary: Lots of reasons dad. Ounces and ounces of reasons
I don't want you fooling with the margins this time around, your last report looked like a grocery list
Mitch: Allison just gave you her most precious gift
Gary: Her gift was a lot more precious two kids ago
Allison: Yeah? You still unwrapped it like a drunk monkey
