Gilmore Girls Season 2 Quotes
Information on the blackboard at Lanes and Jess's school test
"There is nothing fascinating on you palm, under your shoe, under your desk, on the floor."
Mr. Merten: Every baseball on campus seems to have disappeared.
Luke: Oh, come on, you don't think Jess seriously... I'll check when I get home.
Lorelai: Do you want a soda?
Dean: No, thanks. I'm gonna go. Uh, don't tell Rory I was here, okay?
Lorelai: Hey, I'm just sitting here at the table talking to myself. . .again.
(Lorelai is sitting on the couch reading as Rory walks through the front door. The phone is ringing)
Lorelai: Agh!
Rory: Hey.
Lorelai: Gah!
Rory: Mom! (answers the phone) Hello? (hangs up) That ringing is not in your head, you know.
Lorelai: Uh, you've gotta read this Motley Crue book. I swear, you get to the point where Ozzy Osbourne snorts a row of ants and you think, it cannot get any grosser, and then you turn the page and oh, hello, yes it can! It's excellent!
Rory: Why didn't you answer the phone?
Lorelai: Because I firmly believe that once you've experienced something five thousand times, you need to move on.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: I knew who it was.
Rory: Who was it?
Lorelai: The same person who's called the machine so many times now that I actually heard it sigh.
Rory: Dean?
Lorelai: Dean the determined.
Rory: Oh man.
(phone rings again)
Lorelai: Five bucks says I know who that is.
Rory: (answers the phone) Hello?
Richard: Rory, it's your grandfather.
Rory: Oh, hey Grandpa.
Lorelai: He did that on purpose.
Paris: Okay, has everyone finished reading?
Louise: Oh, are we reading these now?
Rory: That's why we've all been kind of quiet for the last ten minutes.
Louise: I thought it was like, prayer time or whatever.
Lorelai: You have a new special.
Luke: I sure do.
Lorelai: Nice. What is the special omelet?
Luke: You won't like it.
Lorelai: How do you know?
Luke: Because you've been eating here for years and I know what you like, and you won't like it.
Lorelai: Can I at least hear what it is?
Luke: Fine. It's three eggs with bits of bacon.
Lorelai: I like bacon.
Luke: Cubed tomatoes.
Lorelai: Sounds good.
Luke: Swiss cheese and a dash of oregano.
Lorelai: A dash, he says.
Luke: I've got other customers here.
Lorelai: I'm gonna go with the special omelet.
Luke: Okay.
Lorelai: With a side of bacon.
Luke: There's bacon in the omelet.
Lorelai: Oh, then skip the bacon.
Luke: The side of bacon?
Lorelai: The bacon in the omelet.
Luke: Hold the bacon.
Lorelai: Can I get Jack cheese?
Luke: On the side?
Lorelai: Instead of Swiss, Swiss is so stringy.
Luke: Fine, Jack cheese.
Lorelai: Also, I think I'm allergic to oregano so hold that, too, and some coffee.
Luke: So, just the eggs, tomatoes, and Jack cheese.
Lorelai: Not too many tomatoes.
Luke: Light on the tomatoes.
Lorelai: Very light, just a teeny-tiny amount, practically none.
Luke: I'm skipping the tomatoes. It's an omelet with Jack cheese.
Lorelai: Perfect.
Luke: You did this on purpose.
Lorelai: Did what?
Rory: French toast for me. (to Lorelai) That was cruel.
Michel: You do know what happens when you assume, don't you?
Lorelai: What?
Michel: I don't know! Something about a donkey. It's a stupid American phrase!
Emily: Lorelai, don't eat dinner yet.
Lorelai: (pointing to food) This isn't dinner, it's my private stash.
Emily: Richard, are you serious about this?
Richard: As a heart attack.
Richard: What makes you think you can get a young person to spend good money on something that they can get "for free", or at least at a lower cost?
Paris: Because I know one thing about the modern teenager.
Richard: And what is that?
Paris: That you can get them to buy anything as long as it comes in a leopard print.
Louise: True.
Madeline: Very True.
She likes Jess, doesn't she?
Dean
Lane: I'm not going to be a salesperson. I want to do something cool!
Rory: Then sell refrigerators.
Lane: So not funny.
