You goddamned bitch. You are going to be the next EL James!


Interviewer: So tell me, where do you see yourself in five years?
Barbara: That is a great question.

Every since Ralf cut off the alimony, you're pulling away. It's like you blame me.


Do not sign anything. I have a client. She is suing her gym. They will not let her out of her contract. Yes. I am fighting the fights that really matter.


Work itself out? Abby, your are dating the guy now, for reals. You have a right to know what is going on in his life.


Mike: Don't do this, Abby. Don't spoil it.
Abby: It's great. It's rare. And that's why we should stop. Now.

You call people names all the time. You bully people -- dad, Scott, your friends. You don't think I see that? I'm just learning from the master.


JD: I think that you can do your job and be my wife at the same time.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I think you're being really naive.

Jo: How about you worry about your kid and I worry about mine?
Abby: I am worrying about my kid because your kid is bullying her!
Jo: Bullying? Wow! That's a buzz word.

Jo: OK. My theory is correct. There's a love triangle goin' on.
Abby: Yeah, one that Zooey is on the outside of.
Jo: You don't know that.

Colette: Mike doesn't like chain grabbers.
Abby: Oh yeah, I can't...
Colette: I'm one too. The worst.

Barbara: Sex tape. Makes Kardashian look bush league.
Delia: Or no bush league. HA.

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce Quotes

Abby: Well, people know. I can tell. Eric Frank eye-banged me at drop off. He's like a divorce seeking missile.
Lyla: Yeah, well, he finger-banged Marjorie Davis so count yourself lucky.

Abby: You smell like sex.
Jake: Screw you.