Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce
Thursdays 10:00 PM on BravoGirlfriends' Guide to Divorce Season 1 Episode 1: "Rule #23: Never Lie to the Kids" Quotes
I think my book can help you get your groove on and I, uh, believed it all when I wrote it, but now I think, what a pile of horseshit. I mean, it should be called "Not In Love Anymore, You Can Stay Married." But, screw that. You deserve more than that. I mean, women can be funny and so there and so present, but if our hearts shut down, you can't open them again with a blow torch and this book... I mean, I still think there's some good advice in there if you actually feel something, honestly, I wasn't trying to sell you a lie. I was... I mean, there were times when I would watch my husband sleeping and I would just think, if he would just die, it would be so much easier.
Abby
Max: Shit happens. But you don't leave. That's what we all signed up for. That's marriage.
Abby: But it's not always that simple.
Max: I guess I don't understand. It's not like anybody was getting hit, or was an alcoholic or anything.
Abby: I'm so sorry I didn't get hit. I realize that's hard for you.
Abby: I write about what I love. I loved us!
Jake: Screw you and your past tense.
Abby: I never touched him!
Jake: No, no. What you did was worse! Yeah. You felt for him. You confided in somebody. You confided in him!
Abby: Because he listened!
Jake: Oh Jesus.
Abby: He didn't feign interest while he surfed the Web. He didn't take a dump while I was pouring my heart out to him.
Jake: That happened once!
Abby: I begged you, I asked you, talk to me. Make love to me.
Jake: I was tired!
Abby: For five years!
Abby: It's incredible.
Will: Yeah it was.
Abby: I mean it's been so long you could have just put it in and out and my mind would have been blown, so don't get a big head.
Abby: You're a looker, aren't you?
Will: Thank you.
Abby: No, I mean you're an eye looker. You look at women with your eyes.
Will: As opposed to my elbows? Wow. You are beautiful.
You and Lyla are like these independent, lean in women. I want that to.
Phoebe
Lyla: I remember you hemorrhaging my money to a dominatrix!
Dan: You did.
Lyla: No, you gave up when you licked the boot, babe.
The first thing I did when Ralph and I split was to fly to Berlin and screw myself into a coma.
Phoebe
Phoebe: Abby, Ralph saw him at The Chateau with a CW actress. They were getting a room.
Abby: Uh. Sorry. Sorry, not my business. Um...a CW actress. She play a parent?
Phoebe: You're brother's super foxy.
Lyla: Her brother. Super foxy. Are you in a TAB commercial?
Abby: Well, people know. I can tell. Eric Frank eye-banged me at drop off. He's like a divorce seeking missile.
Lyla: Yeah, well, he finger-banged Marjorie Davis so count yourself lucky.
