Diana: Once you know how to control information you can do anything with it. Politics, banking. Whatever.
Nate: While that sounds great, I would have to get my family to approve me pulling out on this other thing.
Diana: Well just remind them what George did for JFK, Jr.

Chuck: That's what you don't understand. I feel nothing when I see her and Louis. Or when I jump off a building or when I crash a motorcycle. Even you don't irritate me.
Dan: Well having these guys beat you up isn't the way to fix anything. You could have died.
Chuck: Is being dead that much worse than being nothing?

Chuck: I wasn't trying to kill myself.
Dan: Then what the hell were you doing?
Chuck: I was hoping it would hurt.
Dan: What, to dull the pain of losing Blair?

Dan: Hey! I'm not part of his payment plan.
Chuck: Sorry. Mr. Bass said nothing should stop us except his safe word.
Dan: Well his is serious. He could die.
Chuck: All this be madness, yet there is some method in it. [gets kicked again] Guess that wasn't the safe word.
Dan: Chuck. Chuck. Tell them to stop.
Chuck: Okay. Fine. "Stop."
Dan: Stop? Really? That's it?

Gossip Girl: Spotted: Chuck on the wrong side of town. Looks like Bassman doesn't have enough of a dark side. He has to take a walk on one too.

Blair: Beatrice. You have to understand, it's still so early. I didn't want to get Louis' hopes up if things weren't okay. I was going to tell him.
Louis: What were you going to tell me?
Beatrice: About her wonderful idea, Louis.
Blair: I have so many.
Dan: Mmm.

While one mother's life leads her to Heaven, another's is going straight to Hell in a Moses basket.

Gossip Girl

Dan: Blair, this isn't a joke. We are not leaving this room until you agree to get help.
Blair: I don't need help. I'm not bulimic. I'm pregnant.

Blair: Now you're going to be sorry you didn't guard.
Dan: Woah. You're gonna go? With me in here? I'm not sure our friendship can handle that.
Blair: Friendship is a tenuous term. Now be a gentleman and run the water.

Dan: I can't believe that I thought you changed last year. And since you didn't, Chuck is now going off the deep end trying to get your attention. Again.
Blair: No. Now that's where you're wrong. Whatever he's doing isn't about me. He was the who told me to marry Louis. And he meant it.

Dan: Blair, hey. Listen, I know you don't want to see me now, probably not ever. But I'm not here to cause problems. I can't say the same about Chuck. Have you seen him?
Blair: Walk with me.

Gossip Girl: A kiss is just a kiss.
Chuck: That hurt? Wish I could feel it.
Gossip Girl: Poor Lonely Boy. Even on the outer boroughs of love.

Gossip Girl Season 5 Episode 2 Quotes

OB GYN: Dorota, how are you?
Blair: She's fine. I'm Blair, Dorota's employer. I have a few questions.
Dorota: Just go with it. Is only way.
Blair: What about breast sensitivity? She practically screams when anyone touches them. I can hear her all the way in Queens.
Doctor: Perfectly normal.
Blair: Great. And how long until she can determine the father of her child? She's had a few one night stands with the staff of our building...
Dorota: Blair Cornelia Waldorf!

Dan: Blair, what's going on? I thought you were mad at me.
Blair: And I forgive you if you shut up and guard the door.
Dan: It's not like you to forgive me. Or run away from a feast.