Call me Melanie Griffith because I'm gonna be Workin Girllll.

Brad

I'm rich! I'm no longer the poor one! I'm not sharing this with any of you. You're all dead to me.

Max

Bad transmission means the excitement is about to start!

Penny

Oh it was real physical. REAL physical. I'm talking about sex physical. Sock off sex. So hot

Brad

Oh! Check out red shirt diaries over here. Spill much? Have a little cheese with that wine you stupid clumsy bitch! Hahaha! Oh... You guys don't do pile ons? Waitress! Club soda please, here do you want my shirt? Here's a hundred dollars!

Penny

Pete: Imagine a world where your friends don't exist... Who would we hang out with?
Penny: Rachel McAdams? Zoe Saldana?

Brad: It's going to be an awesome night!
Jane: We're not going to have a three way.
Brad: It's going to be pretty good night...

Max, you do not have disposable income when you owe us $11,000 and three cats.

Jane

Anyway you're only as good as your weakest link. I'm talking about Yipsy Kay Ay Mother failure over there.

Jane

It turns out there is crying in kickball.

Max

Alex: Hello Jane.
Jane: Hello Newman.

Penny you came here to meet guys and I don't see no ring on that finga!

Alex

Happy Endings Quotes

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]

The weird part is, now that I have a guy, everybody wants to set me up. Oh I know Al! I should hook you up with one of my "extras."

Penny