Major: God, you're holier than thou! You think you're the only good zombie. The only zombie trying to make things right!
Liv: Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe it's that I remember a Major Lilywhite who would stick by a sick child.
Major: This thing we've been doing, sleeping with each other because we can -- because it's easy -- we can't do it anymore. Not when I know my life choices so offend you.
Liv: Agreed. Goodbye Major.

The Lord is calling for a new world order; a world ruled by the righteous undead.


Liv, you're going to need to dig deep and find a way to refrain from calling me funny or stupid.


Last night, the Loni Anderson? That was a next level maneuver!


Major: What'd you see?
Ravi: Were you losing your virginity to Howard Hughes?
Liv: I believe I'll be saving that information for my driver.
Ravi: Liv, Clive isn't your driver.

Clive: Dale and I, everything is great between us ...
Ravi: But?
Clive: But for obvious reasons, we can't be intimate with each other, and it's becoming a problem.
Ravi: Have you tried mutual masturbation? It's like taking separate cars to the same fireworks show.

Take my son there, and I'll confess to everything.


Don't bother with the cause of death. I think I got it.


Hey! Touch me again, and we'll see how tough you are with a bullet in your head.


Don't be coy, Clive. He gave her sex. Sex for money, and you know what that makes him? A whore.


Zombie girl: Do you have brains for sale?
Angus: Brains for sale? That's not how the good Lord works. We have brains for free.