My hand should be chewed off by wolves.

Aneska

God doesn't need to see boobies as you enter the Holy Sacrament of Marriage.

Alba

Michael: Don't "what list" me. I know there's a list of instructions you're dying to send me. Just email them to me. I want to do this right. The more detailed, the better.
Jane: You're really turning me on right now.

Be gone, you dirty old Devil!

Alba

It doesn't matter where we live because wherever you are is home to me.

Michael

Petra: After everything Jane's done, starting with having Mateo in the first place after your sister knocked her up, and you can't tolerate a small commute to let her live in her dream house? Get over yourself, Rafael, and find a way to make it work!
Narrator: And so, just as Jesus rose Lazarus from the dead, Petra Solano went to the mat for Jane Villaneuva on this day in the year of our Lord, 2016.

Every time God closes a door, he opens up the opportunity for a much bigger wedding venue.

Rogelio

There is no curse. I think perhaps you're just frightened because of the intensity of our passion.

Pablo

I thought it'd be good to have a bonding night. Just us as a family.

Rafael

I'm sorry you don't like me, but you know what, your son understands why I wasn't here, so I'm cool, and I really hope that you'll learn to live with me because I'm not going anywhere.

Enough! This is not some other guy's kid. This is Mateo, and I love him, and I love Jane way too much to be putting up with this disrespect.

Michael

Jane: If he doesn't respond, then there's something definitely wrong.
Narrator: Something is definitely wrong. God, this is frustrating.

Jane the Virgin Quotes

Jane: Oh, I'm no good at this stuff. So, instead of telling you the reasons that I love you, I'm going to tell you the reasons that I don't. I don't love you because you're smart and kind. I don't love you because you're hardworking and competitive and way too defensive.
Michael: I'm not defensive.
Jane: I don't love you because you're incredibly sexy. I love you because you're my best friend and I want to grow old with you. And right now, I am confused about every single thing in my life, except you.

Rafael: No, I really think we've met.
Jane: I don't usually wear clam shells.
Rafael: Oh, the strip club on Piscayne?
Jane: Jerk.