I think Angelina loves my sloppy seconds. She goes to Vinny and she's trying to go to what's-his-name. Like, what are you doing? If you want to make out with me, just ask. I will say yes.


How the hell did I wake up and my hair still done?

Pauly D

Ronnie: Angelina cheated on Jose.
Sammi: Ronnie told Jose she was his boo. But then she smashed Vinny. Therefore, if she says she's my friend, that means she's not my friend.
Ronnie: We really need to improve our school system.

I hate that guys can [smash lots of people], but girls can't.


[on the bed] My children, Pauly's children, Snooki juice.


Pauly D: I almost seen your cooca!
Snooki: My cooca's out!

Every month, there's a situation.

The Situation

The Situation: Shut your mouth you dirty little hamster.
Angelina: You look like Popeye on crack.
The Situation: You look like a ho.
Angelina: You're a dirtbag and your penis should fall off.

Angelina: I threw away garbages!
The Situation: Garbages?

I'm done! I'm outta here, I'm done!


Jose is definitely getting played. (pauses) Like a piano.


Happy birthday, I f---ed my roommate!

The Situation

Jersey Shore Season 2 Quotes

It's like putting a watermelon into a pinhole.


[to Angelina] You wanna stay, you can get your ass beat. Stay, get your ass beat. Stay, get your ass beat! Stay, get your ass beat! Sleep with one f*%kin' eye open!