Marry Me
Tuesdays 9:00 PM on NBCMarry Me Quotes
Annie: Kay, she [Kay's ex-girlfriend] tried to buy a horse with your credit card.
Kay: No, she didn't try to buy a horse with my credit card. She succeeded.
Jake, I think you're taking this whole thing with Gil way too hard. You know he'll come back around. I've seen the way he looks at you.
Kevin 1
Jake: Wow, you're a real piece of work.
Gil: Yeah well, you're a real piece of what I work to push out of my bottom.
Jake: That was clever and hurtful.
Kay: When you guys [Annie and Jake] get married and have kids in a couple years, who knows who Gil will turn to for help. Some scam artist?
Annie: A child predator?
Dennah: A full grown predator?
I always wished you and dad could get married. I guess I just didn't think our weddings would be happening at the same time.
Annie
Kevin 2: So I don't know what just happened, but what I do know is that my behavior has been Michael Lohan-level unfatherly.
Annie: And I have been dance-mom level daughter bad, and I know that was confusing.
Kevin 2: Not to me it wasn't.
Jake: You know I always thought this bridezilla thing was just a myth, but Annie's changed right in front of my eyes like Chris Pratt's body.
Kevin 1: I know, he is right and tight now.
Jake: What does he do? How does he get it done?
Kevin 1: Where does he find the time?
Jake: He works so hard.
Annie: Hey bae.
Jake: Is bae really that much shorter than babe? It's literally the same amount of syllables.
Annie: But that extra "b" makes my mouth so tired.
Annie: Scooby why don't you just take your time and decide who's wedding you'll be at, and we'll roll with it because that's what I'm known for, rolling with it.
Kevin 2: You can call me Adele 'cause I'm rolling in the deep.
Annie: And I'm just rolling with the homies.
Kevin 2: Papa's like a rolling stone. Rollin' rollin' down the river.
Kevin 2: It's not a bouquet. It's an oversized boutonniere that has a handle so I can walk around like a princess.
Kevin 1: Yeah my little princess with a penis.
Jake: You're queenie with a weenie.
Kevin 2: Don't talk about my penis.
Jake: Fair enough. I'm sorry about that.
Law & Order's not going to watch itself. Although I wouldn't be surprised if it could because it's that awesome.
Gil
Gil: So my place is getting fumigated 'cause I have fleas from that alley cat I fought.
Kay: It was just a piece of chicken, man. You should've let it go.
