Mitchell's new boss: Do you guys surf?
Cameron: Only for bargains on the Web!

You're doing great, Luke, if your goal is to suck!

Basketball Coach

Business partners, mergers and acquisitions. Just kidding, we're gay!

Cameron [on his relationship with Mitchell]

Alex, honey, when you're out shopping, you might want to pick yourself up a training bra. I know you don't need one now but your little boobies are going to come in soon. Mommy loves you, kitten!

Claire

I'm going to have to go talk it over with my bull in a china shop.

Mitchell

A relationship with your father-in-law is tough. You need to prove you can stand up to him, while being respectful. It's like walking a tightrope, which by the way I can do, because I went to trapeze school.

Phil

I'm gonna introduce him to the Captain... and Tenille.

Phil [on his fists]

Manny: Any suggestions?
Jay: I usually go with earrings

I can't pressure Mitchell. But I really, really, really just want him to get a job so I can go back to being a stay-at-home dad/trophy wife.

Cameron

It's Cameron's turn to be out in the world interacting with other grown-ups while I get to stay at home and plot the death of Dora the Explorer.

Mitchell

Let's show these guys what kind of team they're about to beat.

Phil

Luke: Manny and I are going to practice lay-ups.
Manny: They are deceptively hard. A curious mix of dance and strength.
Luke: You're ruining it again.

Modern Family Season 1 Episode 20 Quotes

Luke: Manny and I are going to practice lay-ups.
Manny: They are deceptively hard. A curious mix of dance and strength.
Luke: You're ruining it again.

One day I'm gonna be a grandfather and then everybody better hide their meat.

Phil