Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Season 1 Episode 14: "Moon Landing" Quotes
You know how in a fairy tale there's always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and then the guys start kissing her? Well, this is like that except you don't wake up in a castle — you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation.
Phil
Oh sure, when you're gay you just walk around giving butt bumps to everybody. It's like a high-five — it's a low two.
Cameron
Some people call me a salesman, I call myself a salesfriend, so obviously I need strangers to trust me. I don't take it kindly when someone Tom Sellecks my bus bench.
Phil
Cam: My dream for him is that one day, he'll be on the Supreme Court.
Mitchell: Why Cam?
Cam: So at parties I can tell people my partner is one of the Supremes.
Luke, that is very offensive to women. Your mom works very hard, just now she works for us.
Phil
Claire: What's that in your hand?
Luke: Jagermeister. Dad said it would make girls wanna kiss you.
Just test-driving my new soup strainer. I dug it out of the Halloween stuff to see what people think.
Phil
Wouldn't that be so cool to go to a school made out of bottles?
Luke
Just concluding a little business. Successfully, I might add!
Phil [from the port-o-potty]
She can't take criticism about her driving. Once an old lady yelled at her at a crosswalk, she honked so long, the horn ran out.
Manny
I mean, for me it's a locker room. For him, it's a showroom.
Jay
Cameron: Don't tell me that was your first moon landing.
Jay: You have a name for it?!?
