Phil: Trust me I'm cool as a cucumber. Something about the coat just knows what my body needs.
Claire: You're sweating like a heroin addict.

• Permalink: You're sweating like a heroin addict.
• Added: December 09, 2015

Mitchell: The family has been mocking us relentlessly all year.
Cam: Nicknames like Screeches and Herb, Simon and God-awful, Nickelback.

• Permalink: Nicknames like Screeches and Herb, Simon and God-awful, Nickelback.
• Added: December 09, 2015

I want a White Christmas. You know, like white people have.

Gloria

• Permalink: I want a White Christmas. You know, like white people have.
• Added: December 09, 2015

Joe: I can't wait to make a snow-person!
Jay: Person? We gotta get him out of that hippie school.
Manny: I don't know Jay, last report card he got straight dolphins.

• Permalink: I don't know Jay, last report card he got straight dolphins.
• Added: December 09, 2015

Gloria: Jay, don't forget Joe's new doll.
Jay: Cam and Mitchell, always pushing their agenda.

• Permalink: Cam and Mitchell, always pushing their agenda.
• Added: December 09, 2015