Jerome: Hey, you ever think about getting a guard dog? Not that your turtle ain't scary.
Bill: It's a tortoise. And you got into Harvard.

• Permalink: It's a tortoise. And you got into Harvard.
• Added: August 09, 2017

Did you know I was wearing a condom that night? I was afraid I might spontaneously ejaculate and then afterwards have to worry about DNA.

• Permalink: Did you know I was wearing a condom that night? I was afraid I might spontaneously ejaculate...
• Added: August 09, 2017

So you wanna have sex to protect your resale value. You're a fuckin' lunatic.

Bill

• Permalink: So you wanna have sex to protect your resale value. You're a fuckin' lunatic.
• Added: August 09, 2017

This is your job right here, Brady, and whether you choose to see me as such or not, I'm sort of your mentor in life.

Boss dude

• Permalink: This is your job right here, Brady, and whether you choose to see me as such or not, I'm sort...
• Added: August 09, 2017

Bill: Holy fuck.
Pete: It's worse than it looks.

• Permalink: It's worse than it looks.
• Added: August 09, 2017

God. Showing up at a job fair in a Mercedez Benz. It's a sign of the times I guess, right?

Auggie

• Permalink: God. Showing up at a job fair in a Mercedez Benz. It's a sign of the times I guess, right?
• Added: August 09, 2017