NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite NCIS Quotes
McGee: Abby, this email came through two minutes ago.
Tony: Two minutes is two years in Abby time. You know that.
Vance: Put it away.
Tony: Oh. Excuse me, sir. I'll be right back in. I was just going to call---
Vance: I know what you're doing Agent DiNozzo and I said stop.
Tony: With all due respect sir, I think Gibbs would want the update.
Vance: You brief him, he'll be back at his desk before lunch.
Tony: That's his call.
Vance: No, it's my call. Gibbs needs time. It's my job to make sure he takes it.
Tony: Anyone else I would agree sir, but Leroy Jethro Gibbs?
Vance: Can you handle point on this or not?
Tony: Of course I can.
Vance: Good. Then inform your team, Agent DiNozzo. Gibbs stays where he is. No contact. Are we clear?
Tony: Clear as a bell, sir.
Ducky: Kiddos? Plural? You and Breena are expecting twins?
Palmer: Oh I thought I told you, doctor. Once we found out we were pregnant we decided that it was a sign that we were meant to have two. So, you know, we're going to adopt a second eventually.
Ducky: Why not a third or a fourth? Two boys and two girls. I can see it now. You and Breena with a row of ducklings following behind.
Palmer: I can see it too.
Cal: I was there when it happened.
Gibbs: I know.
Cal: I tried to ....I wish there was something I could have done.
Gibbs: Cal. There wasn't.
Rivera: I have freed the devil's men. And they hate you as much as I do. Sooner or later, they will strike.
Gibbs: The only one who escaped was Lateef Mir. That's him. They let you watch TV in here? You should turn on the news tonight. You'll see his picture. Your picture. It'll be great.
Gibbs: Cal, do something for me?
Cal: Sure. Anything. You want me to lock the back up?
Gibbs: I want you to take the store. Cheers. It's what dad would have wanted.
Cal: But I... I'm not... I mean, I don't even know how...
Gibbs: Just do the work.
Cal: I will.
McGee: Bishop you realize if we'd arrive fifteen seconds earlier we'd both be dead?
Bishop: Aren't you glad I made you stop for coffee McGee?
Tony: He's venti grateful.
Abby: Sometimes I love my job. And sometimes I have to crawl inside a giant septic tank.
Gibbs: Well it could be worse.
Abby: How?
Gibbs: Well I could have to climb in there with you.
Bishop: All we know for sure is that he went to college with Amanda Kendall. His murder could be a coincidence.
Gibbs: McGee.
McGee: Rule 39, Bishop.
Bishop: Right. No such thing as a coincidence. I knew that one.
Vance: Any questions?
Tony: Just one. Why?
Admiral Kendall: I've been asking myself that for years. Amanda was valedictorian in high school. Straight A's in college. Georgetown. And then she suddenly flunked out. She spent the last two years wasting her life jet-setting across Europe with a group of international trust fund brats, partying in every capital in the continent.
Tony: Well maybe she just needed to find herself, sir.
Admiral Kendall: Well now it's gone too far.
Gibbs: Give him an activity. McGee does it for you.
Senior: Junior. You there?
Tony: Hey dad. Listen we'll work on that paper thing but I really need you to do something for me.
Senior: You do?
Tony: Yeah. I need you to re-caulk my tub.
Senior: You mean like a handy-man kind of thing?
Tony: Yeah that's it. Sort of an emergency, I heard it on the news. There's a recall on the caulking I used.
Senior: You're kidding!
Tony: No, no. Causes athlete's foot. Nasty. I know you've got a lot on your mind--
Senior: Oh that's all right. I'll be fine. I can handle it.
Tony: Well thanks a million, dad.
Senior: See you son.
Gibbs: Works like a charm.
McGee: What do you get if you kick a dog? Trip to Hawaii?
Tony: Death by Abby.
