McGee: What are you doing?
Anthony DiNozzo Senior: Changing the subject!

Anthony DiNozzo Senior: I was hoping you would have some words of wisdom?
Gibbs: ...Nope!

He was a Marine. [Gibbs stares at him meaningfully.] ...And always will be.

Torres

I love animals, but I think I'd love my husband more.

Abby

Abby: Gibbs, I can't have a conversation by myself!
Gibbs: It's never stopped you before.

McGee: How do you sleep at night?!
Torres: On my back. Naked.

Detective Campbell: I invited NCIS here as a courtesy.
Gibbs: How about as a courtesy, I don't kick your ass!

Bishop: Technology tantrum.
Torres: Joining my club, McGee?

You're why others are alive. No phone call killed your friend.

Gibbs

Suspect [McGee is playing Bad Cop]: Get him off me!
Torres: I would, but he's scaring *me*!

I don't kick down doors. Are you saying I'm not a crime fighter?

Abby

McGee: Office equipment is your friend.
Torres: It's a bad friend, the one you lend money to and never pays you back!

NCIS Quotes

I'm more of a Super-Mario guy, myself.

Captain Wescott

Ducky: Forgive me, Mr. Palmer, but I can’t resist the urge to give you one of my all-time favorite pieces of advice: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”