I needed your underwear...to sew into my underwear.

Winston

• Permalink: I needed your underwear...to sew into my underwear.
• Added: September 17, 2013

Jess: Oh my god! I thought he was taking you to jail!
Nick: Naw, it's resort jail, and it's not so bad. They let me watch "Ugly Betty."

• Permalink: Oh my god! I thought he was taking you to jail! Naw, it's reso...
• Added: September 17, 2013

Jess: How many times a day does Schmidt text you?
Nick: Oh, no, just like...40.

• Permalink: How many times a day does Schmidt text you? Oh, no, just like....
• Added: September 17, 2013

Jess: What's next? What do we do?
Nick: I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.

• Permalink: What's next? What do we do? I'm really fighting the urge to bu...
• Added: September 17, 2013

Look at this puzzle. It's "ages 6 and up." You are "up," Winston. You are very "up."

Schmidt

• Permalink: Look at this puzzle. It's ages 6 and up. You are up, Winston. Yo...
• Added: September 17, 2013

Where have you been? I am having a major life crisis, and you guys are, what, just driving around, French kissing each other like a couple of Dutch hookers?

Schmidt

• Permalink: Where have you been? I am having a major life crisis, and you gu...
• Added: September 17, 2013

Puzzle me this then, Winston-- how do you live with yourself?

Schmidt

• Permalink: Puzzle me this then, Winston-- how do you live with yourself?
• Added: September 17, 2013