Quit sorting through my trash, Coach! You're messing it all up!

Schmidt

• Permalink: Quit sorting through my trash, Coach! You're messing it all up!
• Added: March 04, 2014

What makes Abby's jewelry so interesting is that it is dangerous and can cut you

Schmidt

• Permalink: What makes Abby's jewelry so interesting is that it is dangerous and can cut you
• Added: March 04, 2014

Jess, can I borrow your glasses? We're going to roleplay as you guys.

Schmidt

• Permalink: Jess, can I borrow your glasses? We're going to roleplay as you guys.
• Added: February 25, 2014

I've got an uncle whose God-given name is 'Shifty.'

Nick

• Permalink: I've got an uncle whose God-given name is 'Shifty.'
• Added: February 25, 2014

She is sleeping. By herself. Which is called napping.

Nick

• Permalink: She is sleeping. By herself. Which is called napping.
• Added: February 25, 2014

Crazy girls are kind of my 'Hurt Locker.'

Schmidt

• Permalink: Crazy girls are kind of my 'Hurt Locker.'
• Added: February 25, 2014

Girl, I got an obligation...at a...sandwich...meeting.

Winston

• Permalink: Girl, I got an obligation...at a...sandwich...meeting.
• Added: February 25, 2014

Ooh, bonus shot of Dad getting a haircut while eating spaghetti!

Jess

• Permalink: Ooh, bonus shot of Dad getting a haircut while eating spaghetti!
• Added: February 11, 2014

Have you seen a girl who looks like me, but with chaos in her eyes?

Jess

• Permalink: Have you seen a girl who looks like me, but with chaos in her eyes?
• Added: February 11, 2014

Why lie? You know how many Millers have been or currently are in jail?

Nick

• Permalink: Why lie? You know how many Millers have been or currently are in jail?
• Added: February 11, 2014

I just need to get to Rachel before he tells her horrible-slash-true things about me.

Schmidt

• Permalink: I just need to get to Rachel before he tells her horrible-slash-true things about me.
• Added: February 11, 2014

Schmidt: It's a bar mitzvah!
Nick: I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised.

• Permalink: I am NOT watching a kid get circumcised.
• Added: February 11, 2014