When God gives you a swastika, he opens a window. And then you remember, there is no God.

Red

All I wanted was to eat the chicken that was smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power and enjoy a nice Chicken Kiev but, oh well.

Red

Piper: One of my roommates has a massive heart attack when she got here.
Larry: OK - you are not allowed to have a heart attack.

Maybe this is a bad time to say hi.

Alex

Sam: Why?
Piper: Why isn't this the Radisson?
Sam: Why do you need to be moved? Did somebody try to engage with you?

I just didn't expect to be punished... while I was being punished.

Piper

Sophia: I made my own. Commissary don't carry a size 13.
Piper: Is that duct tape?
Sophia: Metallics are very in this season.

Piper: She's issued a Fatwa against me. I think I'm gonna have to fight her.
Larry: What?
Piper: How am I going to fight an old Russian lady with back problems?

There's no point in playin' shy baby. You're home.

Sophia

Why would anyone ever give up being a man? That's like winning the lottery and giving back the ticket.

Figueroa

You love adventure, right? And that's what got you in there. This is all just a big adventure with liver, and yoga Jones and racism.

Larry

I want you to understand. You do not have to have lesbian sex.

Sam Healy

Orange is the New Black Quotes

When God gives you a swastika, he opens a window. And then you remember, there is no God.

Red

I want you to understand. You do not have to have lesbian sex.

Sam Healy