Parks and Recreation Season 3 Episode 2: "Flu Season" Quotes
OK, so let's, um, talk about your opening remarks. Do you want me to write you a rap? I'll write you a rap. No, you know what? You'll never be able to pull it off. You're too white. How about a show tune or something?
Leslie
Ann: I thought you might like a fresh set of pillows.
April: Are you trying to smother me? Help! The slutty nurse is trying to smother me to death with a pillow!
Ann: OK, nevermind.
April: Stay back, slut.
See, I never promise Leslie anything. That way I never disappoint her. I try to be considerate.
Tom
Look, the worst thing you can do with an important presentation like this is over prepare. So, I think it's best if I go to the spa.
Tom
It's not that I don't trust Ben. It's that I don't have faith in Ben. And also I'm starting to forget who Ben is.
Leslie
Leslie: If I was sick, could I do this?
Ann: What are you doing?
Leslie: Cartwheels. Am I not doing them?
Ann: No.
Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems.
Andy
Ann's my doctor. And she's the most beautiful nurse in the world.
Leslie
I took a Claritin and I threw that up. So I took another one. I threw that up. And then I took a third and it stayed down. I'm getting better.
Leslie
Andy: Do I have to tuck my shirt in? Because, honestly, that's kind of a dealbreaker.
Ron: Let it fly.
I need to find someone to fill in for April. Now I know I'm not going to find someone who's both aggressively mean and apathetic. April really is the whole package.
Ron
Ann: How was your run?
Chris: Ended with a five-and-a-half-minute mile. My personal low. I think the pavement in this town is soft.
