Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes
I love games that turn people against each other.
April
I've established a scientifically perfect, ten-point scale of human beauty. Wendy is a 7.4, which is way too high for Tom, who is a 3.8. 10 is tennis legend Steffi Graf.
Ron
Leslie: Do you have like a first-date outfit I could borrow? Like, I don't know, a pair of cargo pants?
Ann: Yeah I wouldn't go with the cargo pant.
Leslie: What about like a sexy hat?
Ann: I don't even know what that is.
Leslie: Helping already.
Donna: You'll never guess what I found on Jerry's Facebook.
April: A friend? Buuurn.
Mark: Why does anyone want to run for public office, you're just asking to have your entire life exposed.
Tom: Not if you're squeaky clean like me.
Mark: You're married and you hit on women constantly.
Tom: Yeah but never sealed the deal. Just window shopping. You can fly to Brazil, just never enter the cave. Am I right? Up top!
Tom: I think cave sex is insane.
Leslie: Why?
Tom: Because of the echoes and the humidity.
And to my wife, I apologize. All I can say is, I wasn't just having sex. I was making love... to a beautiful woman. And her boyfriend. And a third person whose name I never learned. Furthermore, it was wrong of me to say I was building houses for the underprivileged when I was actually having four-way sex in a cave in Brazil.
Bill Dexhart
I may not have won, but at least I didn't make any new friendships.
April [about the beauty pageant]
Leslie: And he didn't know who Madeliene Albright was.
Ann: Who?
Leslie: Not you too. Madeline Albright, first female Secreatary of State.
Ann: No, I mean who didn't know?
Mark: Maybe you should try and relax. Maybe take one of those Ativans I saw in the medicine cabinet.
Ann: Dude!
Mark: Yeah, I peaked. Also I didn't see any toothpaste. Do you use toothpaste?
Leslie: What you doing in these parts?
Dave: Oh, I just, uh, I came by to see the murals. This one is pretty amazing.
Leslie: Yeah, this one's a beauty. You know, in the 1880's, there were a few years that were pretty rough and tumble in Pawnee. This depicts kind of a famous fight between Reverend Bradley and Annabeth Stevenson, a widowed mother of seven. The original title of this was "A Lively Fisting." But y'know, they had to change it for...obvious reasons.
Dave: She's got him by the hair pretty good there.
Leslie: Yeah.
Leslie: I don't think I could date someone doesn't share my interests. Could you date someone who doesn't love giving vaccinations?
Ann: I've never dated anyone who's loved giving vaccinations.
